Where: Judiciary Square Metro

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, February 23, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares: Connect Whore, Faker Oats, Laying Mantis, Just Patricia, Quaker Throats and Yule Log

Misc: A to A(ish -On after is closer to Union Station metro, but still only a few blocks from Judiciary Square). Trail is Dog Friendly, shiggy-light aka urban like whoa, and short, flat, and boring (like your sister). Bring a headlamp, a change of clothes, and your mug (or buy one from our Haberdasher!!!)

Also, we will have extra headlamps for sale if you are in need – only $10!!!

OnOnOn:
The Dubliner
520 N Capitol St NW
Washington, DC 20001
(202) 737-3773

http://dublinerdc.com/

Specials: $5 for 20 Oz. Heinekens (Shmeineken eff that Sh** Pabst Blue Ribbooooooon!!)

Where: Van Ness Metro (Start) and Tenleytown Metro (End) Both are on the Red Line

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, February 16, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares: PutItOut, VirginQueen, General’sFarmAnimal, and the Ga-robots (voice inflexion intended) aka HomoAriagato and Mr.Robutt-o

Misc: A (Van Ness) to Z (Tenleytown). A bit of a longer one with two BC’s (don’t worry this is no ballbuster and there will be a Turkey/Eagle), a live walker’s trail, probably some good shiggy, dawg-friendly except for the fact that it is an A to Z trail, and most likely wet – no not because of that you sick-o, because its supposed to rain harder than T-pain at a strip club! Definitely bring flashlights, rain gear, and a change of clothes – let’s not make the bar even half as smelly as we did to DC9 a few weeks back. That was gross.

Also, Bless Me Father for I Have Rimmed will have extra headlamps for sale if you are in need – only $10!!!

OnOnOn:
Public Bar Tenleytown
4611 41st St NW,
Washington, DC 20016
202-237-1783
http://publicbardc.com/tenley/about.php

Specials:
$3 Star Hill Loves (For you Lovers), $2 PBRs (For you Hipsters) and $5 apps (For you Fatties and Diabetics). Kitchen open until 11, last train inbound from Tenleytown @11:52 PM.

Where: Clarendon Metro (Orange Line)

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, February 9, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares: My Lil’ Pony, Dildo Shaggins, Osama bin (was) Hashing, and Tony Panda

Misc: A to A. (Pay attention to the shape of trail if you have a GPS or really really good sense of direction – the hares worked extra hard at it) Dog Friendly, Flashlights, and a change of Clothes – seriously bring a change of close, no matter what your mom says you truly do smell! (Also, Bless Me Father for I Have Rimmed will have extra headlamps for sale if you are in need – only $10!!!)

OnOnOn:
Hard Times (Clarendon Metro)
3028 Wilson Blvd.
Arlington, VA 22201
(703) 528-2233

http://www.hardtimes.com/location/detail.aspx?LocationId=3

Specials:
$5 BIG Mug Domestics (Includes Yuengling and Hard Times Lager) and 1/2 Priced Boneless Buffalo wings AND the best vegetarian chili in the DC area. (It’s Meat-free-DC week)

Where: Mt. Vernon Square/Convention Center Metro (Green/Yellow Line)

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, February 2, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares: Compost Pile (hey that’s me), Whiskey Bidness, Wank like an Egyptian, Prep Oh, Yule Log, Miss Me-gag-me, and Don’t Ask Don’t Smell.

Misc: A to Z. Dog Friendly, shiggy un-friendly (wah wah waaaaaaahhh) as we’re in the center of town. Also, bring nightvision googles or flashlights and probably a change of clothes since it goin’ git wet (that’s what she said) aka rain is in the forecast.

OnOnOn:
DC9 (U Street/Cardozo Metro)
1940 9th Street NW
Washington, DC 20001
(202) 483-5000

http://www.dcnine.com/

Where: Pentagon City Metro (Blue/Ywllow Line – Corner of S. Fern and 12th Street)

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, January 26, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares: Can’t Find Pussy In A Haystack, Tumble Cry, Just Zarina, Just Harper, Pinnochi-HO and a Mystery Hare (Scandolous)

Misc: A to A+. Dog Friendly, Stroller-unfriendly (like a condom)

OnOnOn: (Closer to Crystal Sh**ty Metro)
Freddie’s (Fab-u-lous) Beach Bar
555 South 23rd Street
Crystal City, VA (YES honey, VIRGINIA) 22202
(703) 685-0555

http://www.freddiesbeachbar.com/

Specials: It’s Freddie’s, that’s spay-shul enough, ‘muff said… they will have a frozen shirt competition…(and hopefully karaoke unless our hares messed that up too)

Where: Ballston Metro — Orange Line. Follow marks to start.

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, January 19, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares:  St. Pauli’s Girl, Cock Soup, Yule Log, Whiskey Business, Chip ‘n Failz, Preparation O, Trim Shady, Twinkle Twinkle Little Pee-pee, and possibly a few other members of mismanagement

Misc: A to A’. Dog Friendlyish especially if they’re Buddists as there are a couple spots where dogs may need to zen (ie parking lots or indoors). Please bring a headlamp, some warm running gear, shiggy socks, mugs if you have them (or $$ to buy them) and warm clothes to change into after. You know how Plan B gets especially in the winter!
OnOnOn:

The Greene Turtle

900 N. Glebe Rd.

Arlington, VA 22203
703-741-0901

gtballston@thegreeneturtle.com

Specials: Nothing because they are Virginia. And lame. Food specials are TBA.

Where: Woodley Park/ Adams Morgan Metro — Red Line. Follow marks to start.

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, January 5, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares: Rear Protein Injection, 6 Pigs In A Blanket, Wax On Whacks Off, Yessir Yes She’s Fat, Incredible Edible Schmegg, and 6 Fags

Misc: A to A’. Dog Friendly’ish. Please bring a headlamp, some warm running gear, shiggy socks, safety vests, gummi bears… Heck, bring whatever you want or wear whatever you want, not our problem after this week! Above all, please be nice to Plan B. We want to end our relationship with her on a positive note.. you know, still be friends!

OnOnOn:
The Blaguard
2003 18th St. NW
Washington, DC 20009

(202) 232-9005

www.theblaguarddc.com

Specials: $12 Pitchers of Bud Light, Sam Adams, and Star Hill IPA

Where: Farragut West Metro — Blue/ Orange Lines. Follow marks to start/ probably Farragut Park.

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, January 5, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares: My Little Pony, Eat Your Vegetables, Ass Ogre, and a mystery hare

Misc: A to A’. Please bring a headlamp and some warm running gear. It is cold as $hit out there now but it shouldn’t be THAT cold Thursday. Of course it is DC so if you don’t like the weather, wait a minute. Trail is dog friendly in every way, trail is hasher friendly in almost no way.

OnOnOn:
19th
1900 I (Eye) Street NW
Washington, DC 20006

202-331-5800

http://enjoyyourround.com/

Specials: TBD

Where: Rosslyn or Foggy Bottom Metro — Blue/ Orange Lines. Might not be marks so just go straight to Francis Scott Key Park.

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, December 29, 2011. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares: Eat Your Vegetables, Can’t Find Pu$$y In A Haystack, Faker Throats, Connect Whore, and Laying Mantis

Misc: A to A’. Please bring a headlamp and some warm running gear. The temperatures will be a droppin’ but still not extremely cold. Trail is dog friendly and our attitudes will be new year friendly so prepare!

OnOnOn:
McFadden’s Restaurant and Saloon
2401 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, DC 20037

202-223-2338
http://www.mcfaddensdc.com/

Specials: TBA but there will be some skanky, young co-eds fo’ sho’!

Where: Start- Navy Yard Metro – Green Line, follow marks to start

When: 7:00 PM, Thursday, December 22, 2011. Pack “away” at 7:15ish.

Hares: Low Pressure Front, Fuxedo, probably some others but I’m not sure, hopefully a sweeper hare and a walkers hare.

Misc: Haven’t heard too much about this trail except that it is in the old school style where the trail is short so there is more time to drink beer. Forecast is calling for rain later at night so we might miss it but a slicker packed away might be nice.

OnOnOn:
Justin’s Cafe
1025 First Street SE
Washington DC
202-652-1009
http://www.justinscafe.com/index.cfm

Specials: 1/2 Price Draft Beer!!!