Alouette

Oh Oh Oh Oh
Alouette, gentille  alouette
Alouette, je te plumerai

Does she have the (X)
(Yes she has the (X))

X? (X)…

Stringy hair
Furrowed brow
Wooden Eye (Yes I would!)
Crooked Nose
Blowjob Lips
Cum-stained teeth
Swinging Tits / Exhibit A, Exhibit B
Furry thing / Clean-shaven thing
Has she been a very good sport?

Gang Bang

At the gang bang and always will
Because the gang bang’s quite a thrill
When I was younger, and in my prime
I used to gang bang all the time
But now I’m older and turning grey.
I only gang bang twice a day.

Knock knock! Who’s there?

Mister Bush: Mister Bush and came on her stomach
Ben: Ben dover and have another
Turner: Turner over and have anotherSam and Janet: Sam and Janet evening I’d have a
Bob: Bob down and let’s have another
Orange: Orange you glad I didn’t say Bob down and let’s have another
Ranger: A ranger her for best entry at the
Oliver: Oliver clothes were off at the
Peter Meter: My peter’ll meet her at the
Dolly Parton: Dolly’s partin’ her thighs at the
Tijuana: Tijuana bring your mama to the
Kissinger: Kissinger’s great but fuckin’ her’s better at the
Europa: Europa to the bed post for the
Extinct: Extinct like fish at the
Eileen: Eileen her over the sofa at the
Sharon: Sharon share alike at the
Hedda: Hedda lotta sex at the
Mason Dixon: Mason’s Dixon’s a girl at the
Ima: Ima glad we had this
Eisenhower: Eisenhower late for the
Witchy: Witchy one your gonna fuck at the
Kenya: Kenya gimme directions to the
Emerson: Emerson some nice-a tits at the
Ammonia: I’m onia a little guy, but I wanna gang bang
Betty: Bet he didn’t know it was his mother at the bottom of the gang bang
Drew Barrymore: Drew bury more of your tongue up my ass at the gang bang
Duane: Duain my scwotum dwy at the gang bang
Heineken: If her pussy can’t hold it her hiney can at the gang bang
Youkon Jack: You kon Jack off, but I’m going to the gang bang
Euripides: Euripides panties off right now
Aspen: Aspen way too much time at the gang bang

Glorious, Victorious

Singing glorious, victorious (Hey!)
One keg of beer for the four of us
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House
There are no serious hashers (on/in X)
No there are no serious hashers (on/in X)
(Rhyme here)
There are no serious hashers (on/in X)
Cause they’re all a bunch of queers
Who get drunk on half a beer
 
(L.A) Because the smog blocks out the sun
And they don’t know how to run
 
(New York) ‘Cause they talk like Donald Duck
And they don’t know how to fuck
 
Because they all wear string bikinis
And the guys have little wienies
 
(Navy) Because they’re all on little boats
Making love to sheep and goats
 
(DC) Cause they’re taking all our money
While they’re fucking our sweet honies
 
(Kentucky) ‘Cause they’re all a bunch of hicks
Who are playing with their pricks
 
(Canada) ‘Cause they’ll wade through waist deep snow
Just to give a cow a blow
 
(South) With their necks of crimson red
And their cousins they will wed
 
(Milwaukee) ‘Cause the men all ride on Hogs
And the women howl like dogs

Here’s to the Lassie

Here’s to the lassie with the black hairy assy who was lifting up her kilty at the Wendesday Hash
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na

(last verse only)

So the moral of this ditty is when you’re in the capital city
And you’re sitting with your girly chasing hairs all short and curly
Don’t forget to take her hashing and to give her a good bashing
And beware of the wenches doing down-downs on the benches
Who were staring at the hasher who was posing as a flasher
Stealing johns from the harlot turning tricks in the car lot
To support the queerie who was leering through his beerie
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assy
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Wendesday Hash!

I used to work in Chicago

I used to work in Chicago
At the old department store
I used to work in Chicago
I don’t work there any more
A woman came in for an (X)
(An (X) from the store)
An (X) she wanted, (Y) she got
Oh! I don’t work there anymore
Hammer she wanted, banged she got
Carpet she wanted, shagged she got
Nail she wanted, screwed she got
Fishing rod she wanted, my pole she got
Meat she wanted, sausage she got
Pork she wanted, my roast beef she got
Camel she wanted, humped she got
Drill she wanted, reamed she got
Jewelry she wanted, a pearl necklace she got
Kit Kat she wanted, my four fingers she got
Juicy Fruit she wanted, my Big Red she got
Snap-on she wanted, my strap-on she got
A piano she wanted, my organ she got
Lobster she wanted, crabs she got
Ham she wanted, porked she got
A Hairdryer he wanted, a blow job he got
A Needle she wanted, pricked she got
Linoleum she wanted, laid she got
Fishing pole she wanted, my rod she got
Assistance she wanted, my AIDS she got
Coffee she wanted, my cream she got
Metaphysical conversation she wanted, FUCKED SHE GOT
Kayak she wanted, my pink canoe she got
Burrito she wanted my fuzzy taco she got
Screen door she wanted, my back door she got
Turkey she wanted, gobbled she got
Booze she wanted, liquor I did
Elevator she wanted, my shaft she got
Ruler she wanted, 12 inches she got
Bread she wanted, yeast she got
Eggs she wanted, laid she got
Stamps she wanted, licked she got
Saddle she wanted ridden she got
Calendar she wanted, date she got
Fan she wanted, blown she got
Light switch she wanted, turned on she got
Flowers she wanted, my two lips she got
Cat he wanted, my pussy he got
Cabbage she wanted, head she got
Parakeet she wanted, two swallows she got
Poetry she wanted, my Longfellow she got
Shakespeare she wanted, Dickens she got
Daises she wanted, my two lips she got
Coffee filter she wanted, my tea bag she got

My Girlfriend’s a Vegetable

My girl’s a vegetable, She lives in a hospital…I’d do most anything to keep her alive.
 
She has no arms or legs, She looks like a pony keg…
She’s got a new TV, They call it an EKG…
Her EKG does not rise, But she still spreads her thighs…
My girl has long blond hair, It’s in patches here and there…
She can’t get out of bed, Still she can give me head…
She’s got no arms or legs, She’s got two wooden pegs…
I’m always guaranteed a blow, Because she can’t say no…
She has no feet or hands,  Her head’s connected with rubber bands…
She might not live the night, That means she won’t fight…
My girl lives in an iron lung, But she can still give real good tongue…
My girl has leprosy, Parts are always landing on top of me…
She had an episiotomy, That’s a bigger hole for me…
She can not hear, she can not see, But she’s got an oral cavity…
When I run out of cash, I rent her out to the Agana Hash…
One day just for a joke, I stepped on her cord and made her choke…
Whenever I need some lube, I just pull out her feeding tube…
There’s one doc I won’t let in, his name is Kevorkian…
 

S&M Man

The S&M Man
The S&M Man
The S&M Man because he mixes it with love to make the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good
Who Can Take Just Two Bricks,
Take One In Each Hand,
Bang Them On His Balls,
Like The Cymbals In The Band?
 
Who Can Take A Dildo,
Ram It Up Your Rear.
Then Fuck Ya All Night Long,
Until The Shit Comes Out Your Ears.
 
Who Can Take Your Penis,
Tie It All In Knots,
Wipe It All With Shiggy,
Until The Fucker Rots?
 
Who Can Take A Puppy,
Hold It By The Ears,
Fuck It In The Ass,
Until It Sheds Those Puppy Tears?
 
 
Who Can Take A Wood Saw,
Rusted, Dully Cuts,
Saw It Back And Forth,
Til He Cuts Off Both Your Nuts?
 
Who Can Take A Chainsaw,
Rev It Up Real High,
Shove It Up Your Ass,
Just To Hear You Scream And Sigh?
 
Who Can Take Some Sandpaper,
With Very Course Grit,
Rub It Back And Forth,
Until You Have A Bleeding Clit?
 
Who Can Take A Chainsaw,
Cut The Bitch In Two,
Fuck The Bottom Half,
And Give The Other Half To You?
 
Who Take Some Jumper Cables,
Clamp One To Each Tit, Slap Them On The Batt’ry,
Then Ride The Shaking Bitch?
 
Who Can Take A Sander,
Made By Black And Decker,
Rub It Up And Down,
Until You’ve Got A Bleedin’ Pecker?
 
Who Can Take A Riding Crop,
Beat You ‘Cross The Chest.
Ride You Like A Pony,
‘Til You Think That You’re The Best.
 
Who Can Take A Hammer,
And Pound It On Your Dick,
And Hit It Even Harder,
‘Til You Cum Until You’re Sick?
 
Who Can Take A Candle,
Melt It On Your Skin.
Watch It Blister Up,
Then Stick It With A Pin.
 
Who Can Take Your Penis,
Put It In A Door,
Slam It Really Hard,
Until You’re Screaming- More, More!?
 
Who Can Take A Tire Iron,
Stick Up Your Hole,
Screw A Jack Way Up Your Ass,
Until You Rock ‘N Roll.
 
Who Can Take A Branding Iron,
Fire It ‘Til Its Hot.
Ram It Up Your Ass,
When Your Wad Is Almost Shot.
 
Who Can Find Some Newlyweds,
Sneak Into Their Room,
Fuck The Bride In Bed,
And Sodomize The Groom?
 
Who Can Take A Transient,
Rip Out One Of His Eyes, Skull Fuck The Bastard,
Until The Cum He Cries?
 
Who Can Take A Little Girl,
Before She’s On The Rag,
Fuck Her Till She’s Dead,
And Then Toss Her In A Bag?
 
Who Can Take A Pussy,
Suck Out All The Yeast,
Spit It Out Into Some Dough,
And Bake It For A Feast?
 
Who Can Take A Hair Curler,
Turn It Up On High,
Stick It In Her Cunt,
And Listen To Her Fry?
 
Who Can Take A Light Bulb,
Shove It Up Your Arse,
Fuck You Up The Rear,
Til You’re Shitting Chunks Of Glass?
 
Who Can Shave Your Pussy,
Without The Shaving Cream,
Slap Some On Some Aqua Velva,
Just To Hear You Scream?
 
Who Can Take A Vibrator,
Give It To Ya Hard.
Fuck Ya All Night Long,

Yogi Bear:

There’s a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi
There’s a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear,
There’s a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi has a little friend, Boo Boo
Yogi has a girlfriend, Cindi
Yogi likes it in the snow, Polar Bear.
Yogi’s doing five to ten, Black Bear
Yogi’s got a twelve inch cock, Black Bear
Boo Boo says he has one too, Liar
Boo Boo likes it up the ass, Pooh Bear
Cindi likes it up the ass, Brown Bear
Cindi likes it upside down, Koala (‘s not a bear)
Cindi has a shaven snatch, Grizzly
Cindi wears lingerie, Teddy
Cindi likes vegetables, Cucum
Yogi has a cheesy knob, Camem
Yogi joined the NRA, Right to
Yogi can’t play football, Chicago
Yogi is a Packers fan, Hates da
Yogi’s gay and sensitive, Care Bear
Yogi likes to light his farts, Smokey
Cindi has enormous tits, More Than
Cindi doesn’t use K-Y, Smokey
Cindi has a girlfriend, Klondyke
Cindi’s white and Klondyke’s black, Panda
Cindi lost all her teeth, Gummi