You’re Stupid

You’re stupid
You’re stupid
You’re really fucking dumb
If it wasn’t for your mother
You’d be a stain of cum

 

Down Your Beer (Row Your Boat)

Down down down your beer
Tip it for your crime
Don’t complain about the taste
There’s no sperm this time

 

One Step from Heaving (Hooked on a Feeling)

(can I get an uga-chaka?)
I can’t stop this feeling
Deep inside of me
This beer has got me reeling
And I’ve gotta pee
When you call me
In the circle round
Violate me
Drink it down down down
I…’m one step from heaving!

 

Get Back in the Kitchen

Thank god you finally shut up
You’re always fucking bitching
So drink your beer
Get out of here
And get back in the kitchen!

 

Brother Hasher (Ach Du Lieber Augustine)

Here’s to brother hasher, brother hasher, brother hasher
Here’s to brother hasher may he chug-a-lug
He’s happy, he’s jolly, he’s fucked up by golly
Here’s to brother hasher may he chug a lug
So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker,
drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Here’s to brother hasher may he chugalug.

 

Donnie the Retard (Frosty the Snowman)

Donnie the retard
Had an eight-pound watermelon head
He was five foot three and he said to me
“Hi, I’m Donnie!”

They’re the Meanest

They’re the meanest
They suck the horse’s penis (hey!)
They’re the meanest
They’re the horse’s ass
Ever since they found it (hey!)
All they did was pound it (hey!)
They’re the meanest
They’re the horse’s ass
SO drink chugalug chugalug chugalug chugalug
They’re the meanest they’re the horse’s ass!

 

It’s a Small Dick After All (Small World)

Well it’s not too long and it’s not too thick
It stays soft too long and it comes too quick
It gets lost in her twat
But it’s all that he’s got
It’s a small, small dick…
It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small, small dick.

 

Why Were They Born So Beautiful

Why were they born so beautiful
Why were they born at all
They’re no fucking use to anyone
They’re no fucking use at all
They ought to be publicly pissed on
They ought to be publicly shot (bang bang!)
They ought to be tied to a urinal
To lie there and fester and rot…

 

Roll Back My Foreskin (My Bonnie )

My oneskin hangs down to my twoskin
My twoskin hangs down to my three
My threeskin hangs down to my foreskin
My foreskin hangs down to my knee
Roll back, Roll back, Roll back my foreskin for me for me
Roll back, Roll back, Roll back my foreskin for me.

 

Her Left Tit (My Bonnie)

Her left tit hangs down to her right tit
Her right tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit did equal her right tit
She’d get lots of weenie from me

 

Dinah Won’t You Blow Me

Dinah won’t you blow me
Dinah won’t you blow me
Dinah won’t you blow my horn
Someone’s in my sister’s vagina
Someone’s in my sister I know
Someone’s in my sister’s vagina
Pumping like a dynamo

 

All Queers Together

Well they’re all queers together
That’s why they go round in pairs
Yes they’re all queers together
Watch them as they go upstairs

 

She’s a Harriette

Oh, the nipple on her tit is as big as my thumb,
And the wiggle of her ass would make a dead man come,
She’s a mean motherfucker, she’s a great cocksucker,
She’s a Harriette

 

Incest Time in Texas

When it’s incest time in Texas
There’s no cunt to be found (alt: Your sister can’t be found)
Your mother’s in the outhouse, her panties halfway down
No time for masturbation, no time to beat your meat
When it’s incest time in Texas motherfucking can’t be beat

 

Sally in the Alley

Sally in the alley, sifting cinders
Lifted up her leg and farted like a man
Wind from her ass blew out six windows
The cheeks on her ass went BLAM BLAM BLAM

 

Nellie Darling

Your asshole’s like a stovepipe Nellie darling
And the nipples on your tits are turning green
There’s a thousand flies a-swarming round your pussy
It’s the nastiest looking thing I’ve ever seen

 

Hot Vagina

Hot vagina for your breakfast
Hot vagina for your lunch
Hot vagina for your dinner
Just munch munch munch munch munch
It’s so tasty and delicious
Bite size ready to eat
So grab your chick
Give her a lick
Hot vagina can’t be beat!

 

Love and Incest (Love and Marriage)

Love and incest, love and incest
Go together like a tongue and Mom’s breast
Listen to your mother
And go suck off your baby brother

 

D-N-A (Y-M-C-A)

Young girl, love it when you go down
I said young girl, put your knees on the ground
Young girl, make your lips full and round
Oh you make me so happy
Young girl, your dress is so blue
I said young girl, wanna spray it with spooge
So just lay there
And I’ll try to be kind
If it gets in your eye you’re blind
Squirt-Squirt-Squirt-Squirt
I want to spray you with my D-N-A
I want to spray you with my D-N-A
Just a present of mine
I give to all of the girls
I hope you like to wear pearls…

 

Get it Up (Bonanza Theme)

Get it up get it in get it out
Now here’s some cab fare
It was great but now it’s late
Time for you to go
I shot my load now hit the road
Don’t call me I’ll call you
Get it up get it in get it out
Now here’s some cab fare
It was great but now it’s late
Time for you to go

 

My Name is Jack

My name is Jack (na ne na ne na ne na)
I’m a necrophiliac (na ne na ne na ne na)
I fuck dead women (na ne na ne na ne na)
And I fill ‘em full of jism (na ne na ne na ne na)
But I get frustrated (na ne na ne na ne na)
When they get cremated (na ne na ne na ne na)
Because try as I must (na ne na ne na ne na)
I CANT FUCK DUST

 

Asshole, Asshole

Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
Two piss, two piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for free,
Asshole asshole asshole asshole a soldier I will be.

 

Love Me Tender

Love me tender Love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me shiver, watch me grin
As the cum runs down down down down…
 

My Own Worst Enemy

Please tell me why
I hashed with all these wankers (last night)
And I’ve got womens’ clothes on
I’m with a girl I don’t know
And she’s going down down down down
 

Whip it Out At the Ball Game

Whip it out at the ball game
Wave it round at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts & crackerjacks
I don’t care if you give it a whack
Cause’ it’s beat your meat at the ball game
If you don’t cum it’s a shame
Cause it’s one, two and you’re covered in goo
At the old, ball game

 

I Masturbated (I Wanna Be Sedated)

Twenty twenty twenty four hours to go,
So I masturbated
Nothin’ to do not even a ho
So I masturbated
Give me a box of kleenex
And some Vaseline
Hurry hurry hurry
I gotta pull my ween
I can’t control my fingers, I can’t control my load
Oh no oh no oh no
Down down down down, down down down down down,
I masturbated

 

Adams Family Theme

Their running is convulsive,
Their drinking is compulsive
They’re morally repulsive,

The Hash House Harriers

Down down down down *snap snap*
Down down down down *snap snap*
Down down down down, down down down down, down down down down *snap snap*
The Hash House Harriers
Down down down down *snap snap*
Down down down down *snap snap*
Down down down down, down down down down, down down down down *snap snap*

 

Little Sex Pot (Little Tea Pot)

She’s a little sex pot, short and squat
Those are her handles, there’s her g-spot
When she gets all felt up she will shout
“Bend me over and eat me out”

 

Big Vagina (Ring of Fire)

I fell in to a gapin’ huge vagina
I fell down, down, down, all the way to China
And it burns burns burns
That big vagina
That big vagina

 

Hi Ho

Hi ho! Hi ho! It’s off to the burlesque show,
We’ll sit up front,
To see their cunts,
Hi ho! Hi ho! Hi ho! Hi Ho!

 

Long Time No See-ers

Where, oh where, were you last week
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat lazy bastards you weren’t even here
We fucked all the women, and drank all the beer
 

Little Bird

There was a little bird, no bigger than a turd, sitting on a telephone pole
It ruffled up its neck, and shat about a peck, he puckered up his little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole, you’re nothing but a little asshole
 

Meet the Hashers (Flintstones Theme)

Hashers, meet the hashers, we’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the, town of DC, we’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half-minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch us, as we down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down, down down down down down down down down,
Down down down down down, down down down down down down!

 

More Beer (Amazing Grace)

An ice cold beer
How sweet it sounds.
To save a drunk like me
(stop, drink a beer, catch your breath and resume)
I finished 1, but I’m not done,
More beer, more beer, more beer

 

Give it a Blow (Let it Snow)

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But my cock is so delightful
And if you want to see it grow
Give it a blow give it a blow give it a blow