Everyday is Wednesday Virgin Guide
Welcome to Everyday is Wednesday Hash House Harriers (EWH3)!
If you are new: Read this first. If you still have questions please feel free to send an email to ewh3info (at) gmail (dot) com
Whether you were invited by a friend or you are hearing about us for the first time, this guide is intended to give a brief overview of what you can expect on one of our hashes. You don’t have to be much of a runner or a walker to join us. Hell, you don’t even have to be a drinker. But you should be someone who wants to have fun and is willing to laugh at yourself and others. Nothing at the hash should be taken too seriously.
While we do “run” (or walk on the walker’s trail) you shouldn’t expect this hashing to be your long run for the week. Trails aren’t intended as workouts since most are 3-5 miles long with a beverage break in the middle. While we have runners of all speeds, hashing isn’t a competitive race. Because of this philosophy, it is recommended that you don’t show up wearing new shoes or a T-shirt from a race/or race-type event. The point of hashing is to have fun, be social, and maybe get your heart rate up enough to justify that beer or two you may have afterwards.
The group sense of humor can be described as ribald and/or sophomoric, but we are (almost) always good-natured. Sometimes this humor includes remarks or requests that in another situation would be considered inappropriate. Feel free to tell someone to fuck off, and some may do the same to you. Hash culture boils down to, “nothing is forbidden, nearly everything is permitted, but absolutely everything is optional.” You should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. (That little chestnut works for regular life as well. You’re welcome.)
That being said, we do want to foster an environment of camaraderie and fun, and we do not tolerate harassment or discrimination of any kind. If something is making you uncomfortable, let someone know. We might not be able to fix it right then, but sometimes it feels good to vent.
At EWH3, we don’t have too many rules. We like to think you are adults who can do adult things without too much guidance. Here are the few, very reasonable rules:
- You must be over 21 to participate. You will need to show your ID on your first run, so please don’t forget it.
- Illegal drugs, violence, and harassment will not be tolerated.
- At EWH3 there is only one person, the Hash Flash, who may take photos. So, put away that camera or cell phone and enjoy the night as the Flash documents all of your poor decisions. Your friends with security clearances and similar concerns thank you!
That’s it! You probably already have them memorized.
Though our name might suggest otherwise, we run on Thursday nights. You can see where on the trail announcements. They can be found online here, or you can sign up for the EWH3 listserv here to get them delivered to your inbox. The trail announcement includes:
- People start showing up around 6:45 pm, and the group (“pack”) heads out around 7:15 pm, hash time. Sometimes we leave a little later than that. And by sometimes I mean almost always. Try to get there before 7 so that you can check in – more about this later – and chat with your new friends before we head out on trail.
- All EWH3 trails are Metro accessible, but you may have to walk a bit from the Metro stop to get to the start. You’ll need to look around for chalk arrows by the Metro exit that will lead you to the pack. If you see a bunch of wankers standing around in running clothes, that’s probably us.
- If you can show up and leave by the same Metro, that’s A to A or A to A’. If it’s A to B, you’ll probably be taking a different train home.
- If you see the word “shiggy,” you might want to bring a change of clothes and/or shoes, ‘cause this trail will get you wet, muddy, and/or poison ivy-y (if you are allergic, knee-high “shiggy socks” help).
Last Trains Out
- Helpful info so you don’t get stuck in Northeast DC unintentionally.
- Where we go after we are finished making jokes at each other’s expense and singing to continue drinking. As if you drank enough on trail, amateur.
- Your mom thinks you’re special.
What to expect at your first trail
When you show up, ask somewhere where sign-in is. This is a common question for new and old alike. If there are two lines, join the line for “unnamed hashers” or “Justs.” As this is your first time, let the person checking you in know that you are a virgin and present them with your cash (we do not accept coins) and ID and tell them who made you come (to the hash). We usually take credit cards as well. You must be over 21 to participate. Trail costs $6. This helps us defray the costs of buying flour, chalk, beverages, snacks, bag transportation, etc.
After you have checked in, go hang out and meet new friends. Listen out for someone who will shout for virgins or first time hashers. A seasoned member of the hash will explain what hashing is and how the trail is marked. Ask questions if you have them otherwise you will be as dumb as the rest of the pack, which isn’t very smart. If you bring a bag, we always have a place to store it. Ask around, people will direct you to where it is located.
As the hash starts you will be introduced to the hash. Since you are new, you are a “Just,” and we will refer to you by “Just” + your first name. You should also refer to yourself this way. We’ll ask who made you cum (to the hash, and make sure you know their name!). The proper response is “I’m Just [your first name] and [hasher’s name] made me cum!” Then we will sing you a song to welcome you.
After the run, you (and any other virgins) will be brought into the middle of our group and you will tell us who you are again, because we forgot already. We will then sing you a song and you will drink a beer. If you want something else like water or soda let the person who gave you the beer know. If you don’t say anything, we will expect that beer is all right.
A brief comment about drinking: You are encouraged to drink smartly and safely. You are the best person to know your body and your tolerance, so please feel free to speak up and/or drink water.
Then, we do a bunch of other fun things, tell jokes, sing songs, rag on each other for doing stupid things on trail, etc. After that, we will go off to some bar and drink and try to score.
That’s it! Of course, nothing is a substitute for the real thing (sorry Left Hand, it’s true), so we hope to see you at a run. If you have any questions, please feel free to email: ewh3info (at) gmail (dot) com
We are excited that you have decided to do this stupid fun thing with us. See you on trail!