Here’s all the info that you need to know about participating.

Basically, you can jump right in. You don’t have to be a runner or a walker, hell you don’t even have to be a drinker, but you do have to be someone who wants to have fun and is willing to laugh at themselves (and others, why not, everybody is going to laugh at you, so you might as well laugh at them.)

Don’t show up at a hash if words like Bitch or Tit or Wanker upset you. We are childish and sophomoric. We often call out for young ladies (hell, even old ladies) to show us their tits. Female hashers will yell out “Dicks out for the chicks!” and they mean it. Not everybody flashes, and you are not required to do so. You should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Not only in the hash, but in life.

Don’t show up if you think you are somehow this great runner and we are merely a group of wanna be runners. Go play with somebody else. Hashers have placed in the Olympics in events from running to swimming. The DC area had close to 50 hashers as participants in the last Marine Corps Marathon. There is not another running group in the area that can say not. Not Potomac Runners, not NoVA, not Washington Running Club, Reston Runners, etc. You name the running group and I will tell you the same thing.

Don’t show up if you think this is going to be some type of workout. It isn’t. The trail might be 5 miles or it might be 3. Heck it could be 2 miles. The whole purpose is to have fun, not race. If you want to do that sign up for a local 10k.

Don’t show up wearing new shoes or a t-shirt from a race. That would be bad. Don’t wear a hat in one of our circles. That would be bad. Being a fashion statements would be bad. Don’t be bad.

When you show up, ask people where sign in is. It’s a common question, even from those experience hashers, so don’t be embarrassed. When you sign in tell the hash cash that you are new, ie. ‘a virgin’. Hash cash will take your money, and then tell you to listen for someone yelling for “virgins” or “first time hashers”, if Hash Cash doesn’t tell you this then you should listen for someone yelling for “virgins” or “first time hashers”.

A seasoned member of mismanagement, or one of the Religious Advisors, will explain what hashing is and how the trail is marked. Ask questions if you have them otherwise you will be as dumb as the rest of the pack, which isn’t very smart.

As the hash starts you will be introduced to the hash and we will sing you a song.

After the run, you (and any other virgins) will be brought into the middle of our group and you will tell us who made you cum (to the hash). We will then sing you a song and you will drink a beer, if you want something else like water or soda let the person who gave you the beer know. If you don’t say anything, we will expect that beer is all right. If you want soda, ask for soda, you’re a big kid and you have a voice.

After our little ceremony, we will go off to some bar and drink and try to score.

That’s it.