EWH3 #1108 The Groundhog (Birth)day trail

When: 1/31

Where:  Dupont Circle, Red

Hares:  Mourning wood, quid pro blow, heaven’s gape, colliteral damage, Throbbin hood

Virgins:  Just Nobody, or I didn’t hear them

Visitors:  Cum in my brum

On-After:  Froggy Bottom, which was 20% better than everywhere else, they told us so right on the tab

It was a night of extra layers and fast circles. Which also means short trash. It’s definitely not because I’m bad at these… Nope. Not at all. We moved quickly from Dupont to Georgetown because we were all as frozen

Violations

Cum in my brum for taking 2 torches to the face and we all know that’s slang for blowing a fire crotch

Just Emily because she got taken by her feels for Pterodactyl porn

Chaffed and confused for his obsession with Obama drone dildo strikes

Tuck tuck deuce for back seat driving walkers trail… he needs to take someones back seat in his back seat

Cumburglur for thinking end circle should have summer foliage year round… we don’t live in California Bro-dy

And finally we should all be commended for getting in and out of that circle before our toes fell off!

On – BRRRRRR – on,

#SquadHoles

When: 6:45 PM Thursday February 14th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Georgia Ave – Petworth (Green Line)- follow marks to start!

Hares: Melabonin, Basement Boy Toy, Red Dong, Little Zombie Munch Punch, Just Kevin and Just Ez, Just Surak, and maybe a mystery hare!  

How Far: Runner’s trail is 4.7 miles total. Walker’s is roughly half that.

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to .. um.. i dunno, at least M. There is shiggy. Maybe a 3.5 on 5pt scale. First half is stroller friendly, not so much second half. If your doggie likes shiggy, consider it dog friendly.
It should be a nice night. Pack warmly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Columbia Heights:

Green Line:
Branch Ave 11:21
Greenbelt 11:55

On After: Don Juan
Specials: It’s Valentine’s Day!

For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected]

For questions about trails or haring a trail, email harerazor at [email protected]

When: Thursday, February 7, 2019

Where:  Shaw / Howard Metro (Green / Yellow Line)

Hares:  Atari 6900; Schrodinger’s Cock; The Cock Whisperer; Dude, That Guy; General Tso’s Dicken; Colliteral Damage

Virgins:  None, ya filthy sluts

Visitor:  A big ole sausage fest + a wayward Pudjam harriette:

  • Whore With No Name, from Arkansas
  • Born On Your Anus (B.O.Y. Anus), from Wichita Kansas
  • Just Josh, from Fort Lauderdale
  • Mighty Waters, from BAH3, but admittedly an edub virgin…. ok fine

On-After:  Satellite Room (note to self, how am I just realizing now that as shitty as this trail was even the ON-AFTER was on theme… damn)

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the night’s festivities began with a moment of silence to honor two hashers we lost this week: Wreath Around most recently of Chicago, an institution in the DC hashing community for many years, and Ghetto Inferno of Lehigh Valley, a friend to many in DC.  On-up to the big on-after in the sky, y’all.

(Btw, guys, holy fuck I did a thing in HTML to make this embedded GIF centered… GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY I learned something in college!)

Now onto the mothership.  Violations:

  • It’s two weeks since my last Scribe appearance, and here I am in circle again.  I look around, here’s Blow Me Closer Tiny Dancer as GM again.  I look to my left, here’s Poon-apple Juice as RA again.  I look to my right, here’s Atari 6900 as the alpha hare on a shitty trail where everyone got lost again.  So I have to ask myself… didn’t anybody tell you idiots Ground Hog Day was last week??
  • You Can’t Handle The Poop was on trail getting everyone guessing distances like he was running a carnival booth trying to figure out how far away that elementary school was… he had to make sure it was at least 500 feet.
  • Speaking of being problematic, thank god Maybe It’s Gaybelline got separated from us in Meridian Hill Park so we were only like third creepiest group there.
  • Shout out to the pack for nearly picking up Noodles the Dog as trail treasure.  He serves as a good reminder that the theme for WIE is Anything but Human.  Rego today, ya animals!
  • Poops, I Did It Again! And Sister Of A Downs were commended for nearly getting picked up as reverse trail treasure by a suspiciously curious and well-dressed older muggle during beer check.
  • On the other hand, Mambo # Hives was overhead comparing trail to her last hookup: it wasn’t the best laid, but it got the job done.
  • Speaking of sex, Schrodinger’s Cock tried real hard to get me to drink the rest of his beer at beer check so he could go “lay trail.”  I was like, oh sweetie, if I wanted you to pawn your backwashed sloppy seconds off on me I’d just go looking for Poon-apple Juice.  (Just kidding, I definitely drank that beer.)

And, boy oh boy the action doesn’t stop there – we had my first naming back as Scribe, and we sure had a good one!  While #SquadHoles was busy burning down a Chick-fil-a in Miami, we were graced with the presence of our very own real-life Florida Man.

Meet Just Josh, he used to live in DC, but now he’s busy being a low-key real estate mogul in Fort Lauderdale, ostensibly because the weather in DC isn’t nice.  (No shit, Sherlock!)  He was dressed in a full adidas track suit, looked like the bad guy from Karate Kid 2, and was remarkably cagey about his sexploits.  We did finally drag it out of him that he’s into skiing and… water sports.  Despite his love of EDM, audiobooks, JavaScript, the original recipe of Four Loko, and revenge pooping, we just couldn’t let the pee thing go.  He literally left in the middle of his own naming to pee.  And ya definitely don’t move to Florida unless you like Disney World.  So henceforth, and forevermore throughout the world of hashing, Just Josh will be known as When You Piss Upon A Star.

On – it was a good night to see Uranus – on,

Stain Gretzky