Did you know that male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, but female reindeer don’t? So that ugly sweater you have of humping reindeer is a whole lot kinkier than you thought. And Thursday is your chance to Where: Eastern Market Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Line) – follow marks to start!
wear it! That’s right, for the fifth year in a row, we are giving you the chance to wear your tackiestugliest, or most hideous holiday sweater on a winter wonderland romp!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday December 12th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!

Hares: Head Injury; Issues and Tissues, Rail Mary, Rosetta Bone, Special Red, and Unobtainium

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ and is a pavement pounder. No shiggy unless you do something weird. Trail is stroller and dog friendly.  It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4.1 miles long (about 2.2 miles first half and 1.9 miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of Potomac Avenue (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines)

On After:
Trusty’s1420 Pennsylvania Ave. SE

Specials: You are special

Twenty years ago, a group of hashers gathered outside Union Station, in hopes of getting drunk on a Wednesday (in case anyone ever thought it odd we’re named Every Day is Wednesday and run on Thursdays – we started out on Wednesdays). What they did, instead, was create magic. Join some of those pivotal humans as they share tales of yore and do what they do best – get you drunk!  So don your favorite 90’s clothes (assuming they didn’t disintegrate into oblivion like the rest of that decade), and come out with some of EWH3’s original bunch for a special anal-versary trail!

When: Thursday, December 5, 2019; 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!

Where: Union Station – follow marks to start!

Hares: Special Head Kid, Poon-apple Juice, Seizure’s Phallus, Mourning Wood

Hares of Honor: Pimp of Sarajevo, Holy Tit!, JAG Queen, Harem Scarem, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, $50 Bitch

Trail length:
Runners: 3.25 miles
Walkers: 1.5 miles

Miscellaneous crap: Trail is A to bar with no beer check – only shots! (but trust me, it’s going to be more than enough shots.) Be sure to get a wristband from Hash Cash when you sign in!

It’s obviously going to be cold and dark so bundle up and bring a lamp and ID. Don’t forget to use your brain and have fun. 

Last trains out of Union Station (Red Line):
Glenmont 11:42 PM
Shady Grove 11:28 PM

On After: Kelly’s Irish Times

Specials: Circle beer will be available until it’s not. After that, $4 Miller Lites and Ciders

This is somewhere about the 15th or 16th year your hares are hosting this trail!  Don’t look to get your marathon training done for the week on this trail.  As the fairest member of your hares so eloquently put it years ago, “You won’t burn off the calories found in one scoop of mashed potatoes and gravy!”  This trail is short and sweet.  Walkers trail is even shorter than runners. 

We will be providing our famous shots of Wild Turkey!  Along with one or 2 other surprises.  Shamrock usually also provides us with a special treat.  This is normally one of the drunkest trails of the year that doesn’t have Twinkle juice!  So come hang out with us and drink your fill during the day and then go stuff yourself with food later.


Pre-Lube: Begins at 10AM at the parking deck.  Bring your own drinks!  No alcohol will be provided from the hash until after trail has started.

Start:  Parking deck above the Continental in Rosslyn, VA

Hares:  Please Step Away from the Whores, Purple Peter Eater, Aeriola Borialis, and maybe a mystery hare or 2.

No On After:  Go home and bother your real family

Metro: Metro is running on holiday schedule so plan on waiting 20 minutes between trains.