Even been psychoanalyzed while on trail? Suffer from parapraxis during on-afters? Or just really interested in the human’s largest sex organ – the Human Brain? Then join Atari, LCMHC, and friends for a psychological journey through Freud’s theory of Hashers’ psychosexual development!

Oral Stage: 1st trail to 17th, the main focus is pleasure-seeking through the Hasher’s mouth. During this stage, the need for tasting and sucking becomes prominent in producing pleasure. 

Anal Stage: 18th trail to 69th, EWH3 Hashers seek pleasure by being overly anal-retentive and obsessively following DC politics and happy hour prices. 

Latency Stage: 70th trail through 100th, Hashers have no pleasure-seeking region of the body; instead, all sexual feelings are repressed because they got ghosted for the 4th time. 

Genital Stage: 100th trail till death, is the final stage of psychosexual development. Hashers who have overcome being ghosted with beer are now able to fully mature into well-balanced half minds.

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday Feb 20th. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Deadwood Metro, Kiss & Ride Lot 

Hares: Atari 6900, Moaning Wood, Just Kirsten, Just Gautham, and perhaps a mystery hare!

Trail Length:  Runners total trail: 1st half 2.5mi / 2nd half 2.5 mi – Walker’s total trail: 1st half 0.8mi / 2nd half 1.38mi

Theme: Suggested themes include your favorite innuendoWinnie the Pooh, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Alice in Wonderland, and something to really make you think

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Runners will get their feet wet. Pack smartly and bring a lamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of [On-In Metro]: New Carrollton 11:57 PM / Vienna/Fairfax-GMU   11:15 PM

On-After: DC Eagle

Specials: L.U.R.E. Specials


Who’s single? Who’s taken? Who’s just up for some Netflix & Chill? Who wants to tell their significant other to be on their toes because things are complicated? Well now we’ll know! Rock your availability color(s) in this special Valentine’s Day take on a stoplight trail!

Green – SIIIINNNNGGGGLLEEE!!

Yellow – I could be down, I may be casually dating, let’s chat about it

Red – I’m taken or not interested, but let’s be friends!

Wear the appropriate colors and potentially find your first Valentine of the decade! We all know the best relationships are obvs between hashers, so lurk into the love tunnels of Crystal City with your fav kennel!

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday February 13, 2020. Pack away at 7:15!

Where:  Pentagon City (Mall exit) – follow marks to start!

Hares: Tik Tok It’s Dick o’Clock, #SquadHoles, Close Encounters of the Turk Kind, and friends!

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B, and an urban pavement pounder with many tunnels of love. Just Bodhi-friendly. Should be a chilly night given the fact that it’s winter. Pack smartly and bring a cranium lamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runner’s is approximately 4 miles (2.0 first half / 2.0 second half) and walkers is approximately 2.1 miles (0.9 first half / 1.2 second half).

Last trains out of Crystal City:
BLUE: Largo 11:17pm / Franconia Springfield 11:55pm

YELLOW: Greenbelt 11:05pm / Huntington 11:37pm

On After:

Freddie’s. You know damn well.

Specials: Drunk hare karaoke. See you there, love birds!

Are you a Boardwalk boss? A Marvin Garden maverick? Do you have what it takes to earn the monocle and own it all?

Will you go directly to jail or take a trip to Reading Road?

85 years ago the Parker Brothers changed family fun night forever by releasing Monopoly. Cum out Thursday to celebrate all the fun nights and bitter fights this game has brought to our lives.

Bring your thimbles, money bags, and Scotties. If you’re lucky, you might land on a community chest!

(Hopefully there will be no water works on trail)

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday February 6, 2020. Pack away at 7:15!

Where:  DuPont Circle – follow marks to start at the statue!

Hares: Mr. Holland’s Anus, Just Kirsten, Son What the Fuck?!,  They Blow Up So Fast, Rail Mary, and the Cocktease Falcon

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to Z, Scottie and wheelbarrow friendly. Pack smartly and bring a cranium lamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runner’s is approximately 3.3 miles (1.7 / 1.6) and walkers is approximately half that.

Last trains out of McPherson Square:
BLUE: Large 11:32pm / Franconia Springfield 11:30

SILVER: Largo 11:19pm / Wiehle Reston 11:23pm

ORANGE: New Carrollton 11:18pm / Vienna Fairfax 11:40pm