Happy prom season wanks and wankettes! Did you get detention a lot in school? Were you ever punished by being thrown onto the MATHletes team? Were you the hot soccer jock who barely passed their classes? Angry artist? Even if you were the wall flower or outcast, fear not! All are welcum at this end of school year celebratory trail. Come dressed as your favorite high school archetype or wear some old prom gear. Don’t wanna try that hard?….Just wear pink! Every day is Wednesday, after all.

When: 6:45pm, Thursday May 23rd. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Georgia Ave/Petworth – follow marks to start!

Hares: Scooter Cunte, Roll Over, Bitch!, Heaven’s Gape, Tragic Carpet Ride is fearlessly leading the walkers and Slut Machine and Barebackin’ Pearls will be sweeping.

Trail Length:
Runners total trail: 3 miles
Walker’s total trail: 1.4 miles

Theme: Tuxedo shirts? Tiaras and prom dresses? Pink so you can still sit with us?

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Mostly urban so little to no shiggy. Bug spray might be a good idea. Dog and stroller friendly. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Columbia Heights Metro:
Green Line to Branch Ave: 11:22 PM
Green Line to Greenbelt: 11:55 PM
Yellow Line to Huntington: 11:12 PM

On After: Midlands Beer Garden

Specials: OMG we have specials!! Mention you are with “that running group” and have your sweaty gear on or hash necklace and you will get a dollar off all drafts.

Yogi’s favorite brewery – Red Bear! Red Bear!
Yogi’s favorite brewery – Red Red Red Red Bear!

Whether you’re a yogi or a panda, black or brown, gummy or teddy, or just a straight up bear, dress the part and join us in NoMa for a post-hibernation celebration!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday May 16, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: NoMa/Gallaudet (Red Line) M Street Exit – follow marks to start at REI

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Schrodinger’s Cock, Sphincter Shy, Atari 6900, Throbbin’ Hood

Trail Length:
Runners: Almost but not quite 4 miles
Walkers: Almost but not quite 2 miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. No real shiggy, but a none-zero chance of bears. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a lamp & mug! (If you forget one, there’s an REI right there!) Be smart, have fun, embrace the bear-eotypes.

Last trains out of NoMa/Gallaudet:
Glenmont 11:44 PM
Shady Grove 11:26 PM

On After: Red Bear!

Specials: We’re here to support a new LGBT owned brewery in NoMa. Check out their spring releases! Act nice, tip well, and be your damn weird selves.

Goin’ Deep … into the ‘burbs!  And deep into metro apparently.  Fun fact: Forest Glen is metro’s deepest station and the only one that relies exclusively on elevators.  So get ready for some serious suburban shiggy as Edubs goes deep into the ‘burbs, deep into metro, deep into shiggy – we’re going so deep, we’re outside the beltway!

When: Thursday, May 9th 6:45PM, Pack away at 7:15PM!

Where: Forest Glen Metro (Red Line)

Hares:  Blows A Tranny, Broke Back Mama, CoXXX on Demand, Put It Out, Tuck Tuck Deuce, & Mystery hare

Trail Length: Runners 5 miles; Walkers 3 miles

Theme:  Run around the woods, drink beer and have fun.

Misc. Stuff:  Live A to B trail through the hills and dales of Maryland.  There’s shiggy on this trail for everyone — “Shiggy” means mud (eek!) foliage (eek!) water (eek!) spiders (eeeeeek!) and other interesting stuff.  “Everyone” means both walkers and runners.   Dog friendly, moderate PI risk if you’re sensitive (hares didn’t get any, but we are not the sensitive types). Bring dry clothes and headlamp for reals.  

On After:McGinty’s Public House

Last Red Line Train Inbound from Silver Spring: 11:12 PM