– URGENT – Hares Needed NEXT WEEK – May 30! Email the Hare Razor to sign up. Need a location? Maps? Theme? We can help with that!

Get ready to travel back to May 23, 1934, for a hash you won’t forget! Imagine waking up in the Great Depression, swiping a slick Ford V8, and hitting a bank with your partner-in-crime riding shotgun. But here’s the twist: the law had a sneaky plan! They set up a roadblock, ambushed Bonnie and Clyde, and ratatatatatat! The party ended in a flash. But fear not! While Bonnie and Clyde’s wild ride definitely hit a roadblock, their legend lives on! So dust off those vintage 30s threads or generic bank robber attire, grab your money bags, and get away like it’s not 1934!

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YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 23, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Benning Road station, which is just one stop further from Stadium Armory! It isn’t in Maryland! Follow marks to start.

Nearest Capital Bike Share: https://maps.app.goo.gl/JFJshwGAzEYiMR969

Near the metro and Shrimp Boat Plaza

Hares: Special Red, Dingle All the Way, Just Kyle, and Screeching Eargasm

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.69 mi. first half / 2.2 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.5 mi first half / 1.3 mi. second half

– Shiggy: runners 1.69 / walkers 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (1 mi to Potomac Ave Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Potomac Ave

Last Trains Out:

Silver, Ashburn: 11:49 PM

Silver, Downtown Largo: 12:14 AM

Blue, Downtown Largo: 12:18 AM

Blue, Franconia-Springfield: 11:42 PM

Orange, New Carrollton: 12:12 AM

Orange, Vienna/Fairfax-GMU: 11:51 PM

On After: Trusty’s

Specials: Special Red is special!

Dust off your racket, don your tennis whites (as if any of you deserve to wear white), and get ready to ace this trail! Your hares are serving up a short trail to celebrate the upcumming French open, complete with beer, balls, Battlestar Galactica. Whether you want to spend your beer check grand-slamming beers or making love-love connections, the hares guarantee you’re going to get smashed!*

*Note: EWH3 does not guarantee sexual favors or minimum BAC.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 16, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Braddock Road, follow marks to start

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Braddock Road Metro North

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Whoriana Trench, Jeb!utante, Dry Rub, & a Mystery Hare

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.0 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.1 mi first half / 1.1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 1.69 (yes, you’ll have to run on dirt)


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. Bring your vessel, some balls to fondle, bug spray/sunglasses to keep the gnats out of your face, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Trail is dog friendly, with tennis balls to chase! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Braddock Road

Last Trains Out:

Downtown Largo – 11:38 PM

Franconia Springfield – 12:34 AM

Huntington – 12:19 AM

Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center – 11:30 PM

On After: T.J. Stones

Specials: Discounted wings and hundreds of beers to choose from!

Was the moon landing faked?

Did Paul McCartney die back in 1966?

What’s the deal with Area 51? 

Was the JFK assassination an inside job? Is the earth really flat? What’s really stored at Fort Knox?

The list of things the government is lying to us about is, quite possibly, endless. Or maybe it doesn’t exist at all. Cum join us to find out once and for all at the first Tin Foil Hat Trail!

Dress up as your favorite conspiracy theory, or wear a homemade tin foil hat to protect your brain from mind control. We’ll be hashing somewhere in between the Pentagon and Fort Belvoir, so it’s important to keep the government from accessing your innermost thoughts. There will be restorative elixirs (aka booze) hidden along the way for sustenance if your mind begins to feel weak.

No matter what we find out about aliens or how many UFOs we spot, there will be trail, there will be shots, there will be beer, and there will be chili at end circle, so you can’t go wrong.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 9, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Huntington Metro parking garage (follow marks to start from Huntington Avenue exit)

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Eisenhower Ave & Mill Race Ln (1 metro stop away)

Hares: Just Victoria, Vagina is for Lawyers, Naughtya Cum n eat me

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.3 mi. first half / 2.0 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.3 mi first half / 1.1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 1.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (0.4 mi to Huntington Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, your metallic cranium safety cover, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Huntington

Last Trains Out: Yellow line to Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center – 11:25 PM

On After: 2 Jefes (2249 Huntington Ave)

Specials: You’re special.