EWH3 #625 Virginia Square
EWH3 # 625 Incumming MisManagement Trail of Awesomefunforeveryone.com
Hares: Whiskey Business, Wax On Whacks Off, Cock Soup, 1 If By Man 2 If By She, and Jabba the Cunt
Virgins: Just Luke, James, Vince, Bill, Emily, Caitlin, Josh, John, Karen, Megan, EJ, Ashley, Danielle
Visitors: Ass Full of White Men (Flower City), Alter Boy (Dayton), I Love the Top
Analversaries: 17- Third Wretch, Compost Pile, Miss Me-Gag-Me, Benin Pulled Out 300- Cum Dumpling, Monday Sticky Monday, PIO, WoWo
OnOnOn: First Down
It was a cold night for the first trail of the new year, but that didn’t seem to stop what felt like a near record number of virgins from showing up. The pack circled up at the Virginia Square metro and after an entertaining round of My Name is Joe was off running through the gently rolling hills that seem to comprise the DC suburban area. We quickly came to what we thought was a shot check in someone’s back yard, however the entire pack was looking around for the shots and there were none to be found. We looked in the grill, in the crawl space under the deck and anywhere else we could think of but our shots were nowhere to be found. As we dejectedly walked towards the front of the house there was a light and beneath that light were our shots, and we were happy, and then we found out it was whiskey and ginger and we were even happier. Freshly lubed up, the pack continued through more condo’s and post college frat houses that make up Arlington. We found another shot check with some sort of Bailey’s concoction…I just love Bailey’s its so creamy and delicious…After that it was some more zigzagging across Arlington until finally we made it to someone else’s backyard for beer check. At the beer check we found probably one of the coolest fire pits ever, that thing was shooting flames 3ft in the air! If there is something that will entertain drunken idiots more than fire I have yet to find it.
After warming up by the fire…and burning anything we could fit down the chimney, we were once again off running down Wilson towards that little Mexican place and to the final shot check which had SunnyD in it. Apparently the hares all thought it was a better to sit around loading up on Vitiman C to fight off those colds they were sure to get after running around in jorts in January than to go and lay the rest of the trail. Thankfully they didn’t need much of a head start since after we left we pretty much ran around the block and found the On In. It was finally time for some goldfish, beer and…..
Violations:
Just Luke apparently had the runs and took several shits on trail.
Shetland Blow Me was discussing his hard wood….it may be hard but we all know its not that big.
The Hares were to busy drinking their shots at the shot check to go lay trail.
Double Ohh Positive had a CD of duck calls in his truck….you might be a redneck if.
Cum Dumpling was a raceist.
Jabba the Cunt was living up to her name with the Princess Leia hair-do.
1 If By Man 2 If By She was commended for throwing up for the first time because she drank to much
Eat Your Vegetables was discussing the various donkey shows that he has attended.
Anyone that was dumb enough to cross the river when there was a bridge 10 feet away.
Monday Sticky Monday was quoted in the Washington Running Court Magazine….that’s really raceist.
Yule Log enjoys flossing his teeth with curly hairs….
Just Aaron wants to get named so bad that he wore a GW shirt just to suck up.
Violations from the Crowd:
Fuxedo was caught peeping in windows….only he was really checking out the video game systems
Silly Gay Virus got a creeper finger tattoo
My Little Pony was able to keep himself from attempting to jump over the fire and going to the hospital
Eat Your Vegetables autohashed
Just Tim is from California and Alaska, where he could see Russia from his bedroom window. He attended some “college” at Daytona Beach where he majored in judging wet t-shirt contests. He is currently in the Marines and is also a pilot. When he was 12 he went to an all girls sleepover where the spent the night playing dress up, painting each others nails and apparently giving him hand jobs. Despite this he did not lose his virginity until he was 17 and it was a bit of a disappointment. He once landed a plane while he was receiving a blow job. He was once arrested for puking in the gutter. He is apparently allergic to everything and once went into anaphylactic shock while drive. After the 13 beers of Christmas half marathon he went on a job interview while drunk.
Names that didn’t suck:
Double Down on 12
Anaphylactic Cock
Pillow Flight
Chucky Sleeze
Honorable Discharge
Air Head
Henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing (except Great Falls–fuck them!), Just Tim shall be known as Air Head
OnOn
6 Pigs in a Blanket
EWH3 Scribe