EWH3 #626 Trash
EWH3 #626: The Back to a Naughty School Girl Trail, Potomac Avenue Metro (Orange/Blue Line)
Hares: Safe Word, Everything Butt…, Lawrence of Her Labia, Just Emily, Just Will
Virgins: Chris, Erin Mike (note: there were more, but they ran away at the end circle….wonder why? You shall find out, faithful reader!)
Visitors: Just Katie from Charlottsville
OnOnOn: Trusty’s
For those of you who did not make it, it kinda went like this:
It’s cold but it’s the hash! Hurray! And we’re off! It’s cold! Hey there’s flour, cool! Ok, more flour! No turn yet? Hmmmm. It’s cold! Flour! Back check 10? F*ck! It’s cold. 1. It’s cold. 2. It’s cold. 3. It’s cold. 4. It’s cold. 5. It’s cold. 6. It’s cold. 7. It’s cold. 8. It’s cold. 9. It’s cold. 10. Where’s the flour, where’s the trail? My sweat’s freezing! On on! Wait where? Ok is that a check? Wait did we just run this backwards? It’s cold! Let’s try this way. On on? On on?! Umm. Sweeper hare? THE MAP IS UPSIDE DOWN. Oh look! A school! THAT’S the theme! Where’s the trail? It’s cold. Where’s the trail? It’s cold. Look, a school- I don’t care, it’s cold. I think that’s flour? Yay Benning Road! RFK! Some flour! BN! BN? Where’s the beer?! Oh, ok, there it is.
Beer Check!
School. Run. School. Done? Nope, more. Yay FRB’s sniff the end! NOPE, that’s not it! And more trail. Is that the hares? Are they just sitting in the street? Do they not know where the end is? But it’s their trail? Oh so we’re going there? Cool! Where’s the van? It’s cold. Wait, we’re not ending here? Ohhhhh ok, yes, let’s run some more. No it’s cool, we’ll take the long way!
On in!
Violations
Let’s just say Wax On Whacks Off made the hares choose some interesting seating arrangements for most of the circle.
If anyone missed Rear Protein Injection’s S&M act two weeks ago, he came tonight dressed for an encore.
Cocksoup thought he was stealing a can of beer at the bar on Saturday, but really walked off with a can of Ginger Ale- kind of close? Nah.
Though most of the trail was pretty inconvenient, the hares did have us end in a spot where ditching a few bodies would be easy….
Despite his best efforts, Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock’s typical “let them sniff your ass” routine did not help him and ChippenFails get along- I mean, his dog and ChippenFails’ dog get along.
Most of the hares who laid this sh*tty trail are teachers, which goes to show why education is such a mess in this country.
ChippenFails never wants to address his having no game, so tonight blamed his dog as a cockblock.
Rear Protein Injection was overheard saying he likes the light ones and the dark ones all the same- There’s absolutely NO WAY he was talking about beer.
RoofRack finally decided to come out to Potomac Ave, but only because there’s a Harris Teeter now.
Gaystation’s girlfriend is so skinny she could slide through the narrow opening in the van to unlock it. Don’t worry though- despite being that skinny, Gaystation still hasn’t managed to split her in two.
1 if by Man, 2 if by She was gesturing with her fist in the air while saying “I had my hand up, but it was too deep.” Wonder what her and Twinkle do on their free time…
There were most likely violations from the crowd, but I had lost all feeling in my fingers by then and was not writing. Similarly, there was not a naming, as the circle began to rapidly fall apart. But hey, Wank Like an Egyptian had some killer songs!
We split up and saw which way was faster to Trusty’s.
Finally can wiggle my toes again,
Whiskey Business
EWH3 Scribe