EWH3 #651: Cops and Robbers Trail- Stadium Armory Metro
Hares: ONe tit ONly, Everything Butt, Safe Word, Aunt Vagina, Blood Sausage, and perhaps a walkers hare (maybe, maybe not)
Virgins: Just Jamie, Golan, Sean, Deb, Aaron, Meg, Stephanie, Kit, Christine, Tracy, Shelly, Piper
Visitor: Fang Whore- Sin City
Mud Pirate- a hash in, you know, Italy…
Sperm Bank- a hash in, well, you know, China…
House of the Rising Sun- Survivor H3
Just Jake- Carolina Trash
Ok, I am going to keep this short because we don’t have the AC on in our house as I write this and I don’t want to get too worked up. The trail started at a park a few blocks away from Stadium Armory and, after the hares weighed down some FRBs (Presidential Nasty and Cock Soup included) with balls and chains we were off (as were the balls and chains- they did not stay on too long at all). We were immediately lost, ran through alleys, got lost, etc etc as the pack thinned and thinned. After a nice shot check by the Stadium, we cut through the graveyard and then to the beer check under the bridge by the train tracks. Apparently a lot of the pack had already been around these parts, so for some wankers, this was round 2. It was hot, and we drank.
We were then off again, wondering if we were going to end as far away as possible from the beer check and thereby the bar. We were pleasantly surprised that the pack just went on a little loop and back to the BC site (though some of us braver souls took a nice lap over the Anacostia train bridge and looped around the bridge). We drank, “hydrated,” and prepared ourselves for some…
London Britches had a tampon in his ear, helping with the theory that maybe it’s 6 Pigs who has the penis in the relationship.
Can’t Get Beaver was accused of hashing so much that he has become an Oompa Loompa, but we all know that Presidential Nasty is our resident (though out-of-town) Oompa Loompa.
The Hares were given a bondage tip from Presidential Nasty– all bondage items/chains/cuffs should be pink and furry, though he’d also accept leopard print.
Just Jamie and Just Chris brought their wallets with them on trail, just in case it got too ghetto for them and they wanted to hop on the bus and escape to NW.
1 If By Man, 2 If By She was mad about having to wear her beer last week, so we did it again.
Slutty Charms and Dildo Shaggins were practicing flash dance behind a pylon and were forced to display it within the circle.
And I cut it short because you all were loud!
And I couldn’t hear the violations from the crowd, so suck it!
But it was still time for a naming:
Just Julie went to Boston University where she majored in Latin American studies. She is an immigration paralegal, loves missionary position the best, and her favorite Disney movie is Mulan. When she was 15 she was hooking up with her boyfriend in the back of a pick-up after Thanksgiving. It was cold, and they still had their parkas on. When things were getting hot’n’heavy when she heard a voice say, “Young man, you get your hands off my daughter.” She looked up to find her whole family outside watching and she then swore off sex (because that’s how we handle situations).
Never Never Slammed
And the pack settled on….oh shit! Not in my notes. We’ll get it updated after I harass her this week.
Despite my lackluster abilities as scribe, we had another naming coming up:
Just Beth is from BETHesda- get it?! She went to Boston College, who are the eagles, is a veterinarian, her favorite animals are dogs, she was once beaten by a prostitute on U Street, and had to break up with a boyfriend because his package was too large.
This information pretty much set us up for one of the easiest hash names, as Just Beth became Dr. Too-little.
We stormed Trustys and drank by a bus but we didn’t dance our faces off.
Hoping for a dance party this Thursday,