EWH3 #652: Cleveland Park

Hares:  Poop-Been-A-Dick, Not to Scale, Compost Pile, Whore A-Gone Trail, Pro Boner, Puke-On Territory, Just Veronika, Just David, Just Marie

Virgins: Henrik, Mike, Kevin, Drew, Pat, Victoria, Andrew

Visitors: Stitch n Pitch (New Mexico), Meat the Press (Montana), Bottoms Up (Mozambique), Just Kelly (Western Mass)

OnOnOn: Cleveland Park Bar and Grill

After spending all day drinking and much water as possible, a very well hydrated pack circled up outside the Cleveland Park metro for what was surely the hottest hash in a long time. We sang a rousing rendition of HI My Name is Joe and the pack was off. We quickly started climbing up the hill into the yuppie NW neighbourhoods. It seemed as if every residence had decided that it was time to water the lawn bc there were plenty of sprinklers to run though….and I made sure to hit every one. After a few more hills we found our first shot check, some sort of cherry drink with real fruit, delicious and nutritious! From there we bounded into Rock Creek Park for some nicely shaded trail running and exited into the final hose down and beer check! We stood around and cooled off with some tasty, tasty beer and then were off….just kidding it was time for a naming!     

Just Eric is from Cape Cod (seriously from there….he apparently knows the Kennedys) and went to Annapolis where he studied Communications. He likes shifty sex (whatever that means), goats, Aladdin, and apparently makes his own porn. Once when a chick was going down on him she asked him to hold her gum. When she finished they found the gum all through her hair and learned the hard way that Eric is allergic to peanuts. He also once slept with a chick that had one leg that was significantly shorter than the other.

Names that didn’t suck:

Cum on I Lean

Kennedy Cum Pound

Bubba Licious

Four Guys and 7 Years Ago

Chosey Moms Choose Jizz     

Henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing…except Great Falls, fuck them! Just Eric shall be known as Chosey Moms Choose Jizz! And now it was back to our regular scheduled programming….the rest of trail!

We were once again off in the direction of the Cathedral. After breaking for another fruity shot (this time watermelon!) we circled around the Cathedral and finally stated the downward Descent back towards Cleveland Park. After slapping the bag we stumbled into the On In where we commenced re-hydrating and….

Violations:

Brokeback Mama was overheard saying “Wild Things actually had a decent plot”….because that’s why you watch the movie.

WoWo for shaving only parts of his chest    

Whoregon Trail was too busy spreading her legs on trail to lay any flour.

Wack-a-hole came off the Appalachian Trail and managed to find the only group of people that smelled worse than her.

PIO told Whiskey Business to “just slide it in there while no one is looking,” because everyone loved surprise sex.

The Scarlet Letter was in CVS and only purchased a Father’s Day card and condoms….because nothing says Happy Father’s Day like condoms.

Just Lisa and Just Shelly for being raceist and then complaining about getting violated.

One of the Virgins was heard on his cell saying “I don’t know where we are but we just stopped for beer, this is the most fucked up weekend ever!”

London Bitches Going Down apparently likes to TiVo HGTV

Violations from the Crowd:

There were some but I ran out of paper in my notebook….and it was really freaking dark out!  

It was then time for a pretty regular event…a NAMING!

Just Veronica grew up as a military brat and attended U of Texas and American. She likes Bed Knobs and Broomsticks, Debbie Does Dallas and Longhorns. She is a budget analyst and the last time she got laid was in Dec. She banged a guy while on a motorcycle and got pulled over and once got a girl fired. She sometimes likes to make out with girls and then there was something about an orgy with some brits in NYC.

Names:

Bobbing Along

Margret Snatcher

Union Jack Off

Mind the Gap

Hells Anal

English Basement 

Henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing…except Great Falls! Just Veronica shall be known as Hells Anal

On-On

6 Pigs in a Blanket

EWH3 Scribe