Hash Trash EWH3#695: The First Anal Gispert Memorial Hash

Where: Clarendon Metro (Orange Line)

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, February 9, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares: My Lil’ Pony, Dildo Shaggins, Osama bin (was) Hashing, and Tony Panda 

Virgins: Just Matt, Pat, James, Ian, Dave, Kevin, Andrew, Katie (assuming it’s spelled that way since it’s the best way), Nick and Reshma

Visitors: In Middle State, General Admission and Night at the Coxbury

OnOnOn: Hardtimes

We circled up in a little park near the metro, though Plan B was forced to park several parsecs away – our GM for the evening was HhH in a dazzling neon green, so at least we couldn’t lose him (which is more than can be said for some of the hares, but more about that later.)  Virgins were instructed, introduced and had their song.  Then came the visitors, with the usual greetings.

Trail was long and winding through mostly neighborhoods, including multiple back checks and one spoke of trail that went absolutely nowhere (unless you count a storm drain, which would count except it was too small for us to go through and lacked flour).  Also, at least one of the hares apparently learned at the knee of SH*T, as much of the flour was hidden behind cars, shrubbery and the like.  There were two shot checks – both of them tasty and one beer check (also tasty) where we met back up with the Walkers, all of whom seemed to be having a grand time, and none of whom would give away much in the way of violations.  Work on that folks.

Speaking of violations…

  • Miss Me Gag Me was caught bragging about just how tight she is – our friendly reporter then couldn’t help but overhear that Yule Log vehemently disagreed.  Friendly reporter should have stuck around for more details.
  • HhH was violated for trying out as an extra in Flashdance, and wearing his audition outfit to the hash
  • Dildo Shaggins was violated for managing to lose about TWENTY hashers, despite being sweeper hare (and no, they weren’t lost at the trail that went nowhere – she just lost them in general).
  • Osama bin (was) Hashing didn’t fare much better when it came his turn to sweeper – mostly because he didn’t bother to find out where end circle would be.
  • Whiskey Business had a double violation – one was an oldie, but needed to be said.  As hare last week, he failed to lead onon, as he could not read his very upside down map.  This week, he graced the hash with the sight of him darting out to be FRB, but managing to pour sticky white foam in his eye and falling to the ground as a result.
  • Sexorcist refused to come to circle for her violation, so she required a stand-in.  Nonetheless she is violated for going all the way to the Carribean to run a half marathon in brand new shoes
  • Tech on trail violations went to Just Tom (someone should have told him better) and LDS (who should just know better)
  • And finally, Just Pat was violated for wearing his high school team’s championship award backpack.  And because he was violated, he that made him cum (Just Matt) and he that made Just Matt cum (Just Cody) were violated as well.

The cops then violated all of us for running a dog fighting ring.  No, seriously.  About 7 cop cars showed up, lights a-blazing and attitude a-wagging.  Apparently Guinness ratted us out.  Thus,, the hash left in kumbaya peace and no naming was had for the second week in a row – but on to Hardtimes!!

We drank until we drowned our sorrow of a lack of naming and too many nosy neighbors during circle.  Here’s hoping for next week!

Until next time – 

Colliteral Damage

EWH3 Scribe