Where: Start – U Street/Cardoza Metro Stop (Yellow/Green Line)

When: Thursday, April 12, 20126:45 PM, Pack away at 7:15ish or whenever the GM decides.

Hares: Dial F for (bundle of sticks), Blow White, (Don’t) Stick Your Dick in Crazy, Just Beryl, and Just Skye

On on on: Millie & Al’s

We circled up in a random parking lot, several miles from the U Street Metro start we were promised (thank you hares).  This time Plan B was able to be right there with us though, so that was a bonus.  She was remarkably less stuffed than usual – good job wankers!  Way to start paying attention (Just Nikki – I’m looking at you!)

Trail was long.  Often poorly marked with several back checks.  That being said, once the hares realised this was happening, they just “zen-ed” (Dial F’s word) their way to the end – and that part went pretty well.  The FRBs even managed to catch Dial F!  Also, the pack stayed together more than usual, which made for a really fun run.  Beer check was delicious as always (Thank you Brew Crew!), and the shot check was well appreciated.

Circle was held on a field in Admo somewhere, next to some kickballers (the only people in DC with less physical acumen than the Hash).  Whiskey was our RA and kept circle tight and moving – Jubilee handed out some prizes, and there were

VIOLATIONS

  • The hares were up first, and were actually already iced before I even got a chance to violate them.  That being said, Blow White was violated for telling cops where we were going (although, in fairness, said cops did later help some of the stragglers find the rest of us); Dial F was violated for gang banging virgins and not sharing w/ the rest of the hash
  • Just Jerrad was violated for failing to clear a 3 foot wall, despite being somewhere near 8 feet tall.  Later, we found out he had to get 9 stitches – after the bar of course!
  • Just Austin from Austin was violating for wearing so damn much flair on trail and for bringing a coffee mug to the hash.  That is a couple of weeks in a row I think.
  • Just Jen was violated for being stupid enough to agree to marry a hasher.
  • PIO was violated for sneaking into people’s houses and “leaving his fluid” on their couches.  That’s just weird.  Stop it.
  • Anchor Spanker was violated for wearing new shoes.  Really?  You’ve been hashing so long you have a kimono.  That was just begging for a violation (which, is actually appropriate hash behavior).

At that point we turned to violations from the crowd (and actually, that last one re Anchor Spanker is credited to my fellow scribe Chippenfailz), as we had drank ALL THE BEERS and were running out and needed to get to the….

NAMING!

Just Beryl was named this week.  Based on my notes from her naming, it seems she likes to have sex with brown russians, throw up on them, steal their car and give blow jobs to the mob.  No wonder she’s a hasher!  In the end, however, Victoria Secrete won out, and is how she’ll be known as a hasher – thru and thru.

There was no beer left in the park, so we migrated to Millie & Al’s where we consumed a ridiculous amount of jello shots, sang to entertain the locals and partied ’til the wee hours.

On-the pizza place next to Millie & Al’s is weirdly good at 2 AM-on,

Colliteral Damage

EWH3 Scribe