Hash Trash: EWH3 #711: The Flamingo Hash at Eisenhower (or whatever it was really called)

Where: Eisenhower Metro (Yellow Line)

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, May 10, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish or whenever the hares let the GM release us.

Hares: PIO, Scratch & Sniff, and Friends

On on on: Somewhere very few people went – there was a crap ton of us on the metro.

We circled up in a rather lovely parking lot – this is what happens in the suburbs at metro stations.  However, in good news, Plan B was right there with us, and feeling light in the ass – folks still a little spooked by the Titanic Trail.  But this one was Flamingos!  What could possibly go wrong!?

Ah virgins, lovely virgins – we welcomed Just Jess, Jenna, Kelly, Melissa, Julia and Lark.  All ladies.  The hetero-male-contingent lucked out this evening.

Our visitors were actually a-plenty, including Microdick; Can Open Her, Cockadoodledick, Naked Ninja, Don’t Ask, Nonessential, and Mount Teresa.  I think there was one more, but that was pre-crayon-style pen, so I can’t read it.  Apologies.

Trail was … shitty.  Literally.  We ran through sewers.  I needed a brillo pad afterwards.  There were frosty, delicious beverages on trail, which is good because we needed something to kill all the diseases we picked up on trail.  And not the fun kind.

Closing circle was in a parking lot, under an overpass.  Beer was running low, rain was impending so we tried to keep circle tight (yes, just like that).   We harassed the hares, toasted the virgins, and had a guest RA – Chippen Failz!  Both scribes in the circle – it could only be fun.  Or messy.  Jubilee gave out some glorious prizes to the people who need to get a life because clearly they hash too much, and then there were


  • I-manual Cunt stopped to smell the honeysuckle and somehow got tetanus on his dick.  That’s what you get for being naked guy, naked guy.
  • Just Lark was violated for being oh-so-smart she couldn’t figure out that Plan B can move around.  That’s what the wheels are for dear.  Or, maybe she was too busy being wooed by some guy talking about Reddit.  That’s right – trail has ears people.
  • Can Open Her was violated because her right hip didn’t know what her left hip was doing,
  • And speaking of people getting things backwards, Blow White was violated for having her pants on backwards (note!!  this might be relevant to an upcoming violation on 6/7!!)
  • Cutting Class and HhH were violated for being pedos on trail.  That’s the wrong way to get an SOT violation and you both know it.  Stop giving gator-eer to children!
  • Wreath was due congratulations because his mom got a new PUSSY!!
  • Lots of people (including Scribe-cum-RA) were violated for swimming in the disgusting, disgusting sewers.  Gross.

At that point we turned to violations from the crowd (which, btw included both Scribes getting violated – the wankers are getting restless it seems!), proceeded to drink ALL THE DELIGHTFUL SODAS and finally managed to get to the special, wondrous, deeply spiritual ….


Just Kim was named this evening.  I don’t have alot of notes, but it looks like she actually enjoys swimming in sewagey, poopy water and then watch Aladdin.  And may have been gang banged by Pinkie and the Brain.  I gotta get a better pen.  ANYHOW – for now and always, Just Kim shall be known as VAGINY BUBBLES – I’m not entirely sure who came up with that, so it’s up for grabs!

On-I had to take 8 showers to get rid of the sewer-on,

Colliteral Damage

EWH3 Scribe