Hash Trash: EWH3# 767: The Bats and Spiders and Hornets, or The Superhero Trail
Where: Foggy Bottom Metro
When: April 18, 2013
Our masked crusaders (aka super hero hares): Lock, Cock, and 2 smoking nostrils; St. Pauli’s girl; Just Munty; RG3some; and Just Leslie.
Whiz, Bam, Pow – The sun was shining for opening circle near GW’s campus. The half brains assembled. Virgins, we had virgins everywhere. Justs: Becky, Andrew, Leah, Meghan, Andres, Jeff, Madison, Gypsy, Robert, Hawley, Dan, Iris, and Renana were in attendance. Special props to the virgin who showed up in a shiny Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume! We like you – cum back!
Songs were sung and we did our fancy dancy warm-up while singing about Joe and the pack was off. Most were running but a few walkers were out in force (like your trusty scribe).
This was my second time on walker’s trail and I learned an important lesson: it is not a good idea to make your own shot checks by popping into bars and adding extra shot checks to trail…. And when you walk by a beverage store it is probably not a good idea to go in and buy your own alcohol to make additional drinks!
From what I remember end circle was in a creepy alley. My scribe notes say the evening violations were as follows:
• Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock announced that he is jealous that Daisy Chain’s is bigger (tent envy is real my friends).
• The Hares-zig zagged us all over the city (Is that a real violation? Don’t they do that every week? Oh well have to trust the scribe notes).
• Just Leslie limited the walkers’ from having too many shots because she wanted to, “save some for the real hashers.” So.Not.Cool.
• Cock Soup walked!
• St. Pauli’s Girl wore his knee pads to trail.
• Pulp Friction tried to take on a car.
• There is a Clap For That complained that everyone was trying to get his seed (Why was he complaining?).
• Tragic Carpet Ride tried to convince two virgins that there is a bathroom in Plan B.
• MeNoEngrish brought her giant flask to trail BUT it only had water in it for her dog (#hasherfail).
• Ass Ogre & Deathly Swallows had Hashy Birthdays.
• Mad Dog and Premature Ejaculation had sex on trail (acceptable hash behavior?).
*These violations may or may not have been part of circle. They were in my scribe notebook so… unless it has been compromised at least some of them were probably the circle violations.
Then we had a very special occasion A NAMING! Just Leslie was our victim… eh I mean honoree for the night. She went to a college that starts with an S; had sex with a teacher; loves the Little Mermaid (who doesn’t); and lost her virginity in college (although it was boring). She loved her Barbie dream house and grew up to be good at swallowing, has sketchy feet, had a threesome at WIE and she once had sex with a one legged man. We had some good names for Just Leslie: One Foot Skank, Amputease, and Stump Thumper. However, henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing Just Leslie will be known as Hurricane Cuntrina.
And everybody was happy and hopped and skipped to the land of McFadden’s.
I ended up at Amsterdam Falafel.
It was a good night!
Glitty Clitty Gang Bang