Hash Trash: EWH3 #774: Drama Free Trail

Drama Free Trail EWH3# 774 Trail Trash: Thursday June 6, 2013- Stadium-Armory

Where: Stadium-Armory (Blue and Orange Line) NORTH EXIT; Follow marks to start.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday June 6, 2013.

Hares: Chippen Failz, Chestnuts, Purple Peter Eater, Whore Crimes, Red Vag of Courage

Weather: H82; L72; 10% chance of rain, wind SSE at 12mph.

On On On: Trustys.

This trail started on a shitty rainy day at the armory metro station. The pack gathered under the trees on the common in front of the Armory. Our creepy bag van Plan-B driven by Tumble Cry and Corndog Millionaire circled the area until they found a good location to load up, not far from sign in. We circled up and our GM for the evening Colliteral Damage started by introduced our virgins just Kyle, Duncan, John, Peter, Evan, Jeff, Jessica, and Aarian. With no visitors we moved on to the hare rep Red Vag of Courage, she told the pack how they would make an attempt at a trail and thoroughly eff the pack. She then sang a song about a man in a button factory and the pack was off.

The pack circled around the stadium and armory. Stopping along the way for a short swim out to a beer check on an island, or peninsula or some land mass at least partially surrounded by water from what I saw of it. After giving the hares a ten minute lead and drinking all the warm cans of beer, the pack made its way to the mainland and back on trail. The pack eventually found Plan B under a bridge along the Anacostia, which was a good break from the rain. The pack changed out of wet clothes and readied for circle.

Religious Advisor for the night Cock-a-Doodle-Do-Me circled up the crowd with probably the worst bear bitch ever Wookin Pa Nub handing out beverages to violators. The hares were violated for their shitty trail and the virgins were re-introduced to the hash. Then it was time for Violations!!!

Cock-A-Doodle-Do-Me was violated for being a bad RA and letting it rain on us, also for stealing a Tuff Mudder T-shirt from a middle-aged woman.

Uno Dos Tres Liftoff was violated for getting in Just Casey to finish faster than he expected.

Tragic Carpet Ride was violated for his most recent dating blog article “what to bring to a first date” there were only two items on the list of things to bring, a rag and chloroform.

Please Step Away was violated for auto hashing and being a dick and not giving me a ride to the on after.

CoXXX on Demand had a safety violation; he was seen throwing full beers at the first beer check.

Just Randy was not violated but thanked for breaking the stereotype that black people can’t swim.

Cocktologist was violated after she changed out of her wet running gear and was heard saying “I only have wet pink” Shes got a dirty mouth that one.

-The Hares were Violated for planning a Biathlon rather than a hash and leading the pack across open water without a safety swimmer present.

After a few violations from the crowd we then began our solemn occasion of a naming!!

Just Greg was the poor bastard who was lucky enough to be named this week. Just Greg filed us in on some of the boring details that are in his online dating profile, that he went to UVA, hes a corporate whore at a major bank, and loves Brazilian chicks( who doesn’t?) Craig explained how he supposedly lost his virginity to a “girl” he met at party after he took her home. He told us about what a little bastard he was a kid like the time he hog tied his brother and left him in the basement and when he took a dump on another frat guys doorstep. With enough fodder the has started off with some good names like Welcome Shat, Game of Bones, Pay-Lay, and Rio-De-Ja-Zero. But a hasher this classy deserves a name that’s memorable or horrific. Yeah, lets go with horrific. Forever more and throughout the world of hashing except (you know who you are) Just Greg will be known as Oh-Aids!!

And then the pack was Happy, Macho mugs were had and the pack made their way through the drizzle to the on after.

EWH3 Scribe

Little Thunder Clap