EWH3# 812: The Desperation Day Trail!
When: Thursday, February 13, 2014
Where: Judiciary Square Metro (Red Line)
Hares: Little Thunder Clap, Sorest Rump, Mr. hEd, I’m Tho Thor, All Flash No Drive, Just Mark
Miscellaneous Crap: Live A to A-ish trail
Weather: Pretty freaking miserable
On On On: Billy Goat Tavern
Virgins: Just Daniel and Just Andrew
Visitors: Thumb Drive and Camal Toe, both from Huachuca H3 in Sierra Vista, AZ
Talk about possibly the worst weather to go hashing in. It rained, it snowed, it sleeted. Running, drinking beer, and making fun of one another was pretty much the only thing anyone could do to keep their nipples from falling off. And only half succeeded at that… Kudos to the hares for coming up with a new trail at the very last minute, due to metro closures from snow at Braddock Station.
Circle started out as a big ball of confusion, from all but one correct metro exit. However, several wankers took advantage of the abundant ground snow and decided to reenact an old fashioned Southern Feud, complete with crotchety Old Man General’s Farm Animal screaming at the kids to stop having fun, and to get off his lawn. There was some question as to the theme of the evening’s trail. When some noticed Mr. hEd dressed as a unicorn, they left more confused than they began, as hEd normally dresses as mythical four-legged animals on Tuesdays. Roof Rack was particularly emphatic about the weather conditions this evening, as she exclaimed that by the end of the night, EVERYTHING was gonna be wet!
Thanks to a police officer hiding out where beer check was supposed to be, we had a Stare-check, which was all there was to do, in addition to shivering. End-circle fared slightly better, but not warmer. Violations were fast and sweet:
– Who said “sweet??” Maybe you’ll have some! As it turns out, General’s Farm Animal happens to deliver a lot of singing telegrams on Valentine’s Day. All present in the circle were aptly warned not to open their doors on Friday, lest they want to risk song and dance from an naked old man in a bowtie.
– Red Vag of Courage had a particularly pleasant evening with the canine companion of Uno Dos Tres Liftoff, as one had a grand time humping the leg of the other. Can you guess which did which???
– That same Vag of Courage was also overheard yelling/screaming while on trail. Upon hearing this, Rape and Spillage instinctively identified alibis, to confirm that his whereabouts were nowhere near the screams.
– Who said Rape?? Apparently the whispering trees of the Redwood Forests of California! While recently on a hike through this majestic national forest, Rape and Spillage was so overcome with the natural beauty, he felt compelled to dessicate it by jerking it a few yards off the trail. (True Story!)
Naming: There was no naming, because it was too cold and no one was really that desperate.
On – Unicorns – On!