EWH3# 833: The “F*ck You, Pierre!” Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, June 5, 2014 – L’Enfant Metro (Every Line but Red)


Those Who Have Run Before

Just watched the Revelry and decided that he knew three things.  First, he was good and drunk.  Second, that he had found his place and was content.  Third, well, he was not sure of the third, but it only felt appropriate that there would be three since he knew that in all of the old tales three was the number things come in, so for the third he settled on recognizing, again, that he was drunk.

Amongst the seemingly endless cups of ale passed out by the brew hands, he also had sampled some crossi, the cheap wine from the Western provinces, and had taken a swig of an amber liquid that seemed to burn a hole through his throat.  A song had picked up through the crowd and he stood working to make out the lines.

…And listen here, son, for we do not lie

If you have one last bite

Before the end of the night

Then have a side of whispering eye 

Jester came over and offered him another cup of ale.  “If there’s one thing we lack, it’s propriety,” she laughed.  “You look to be having fun.”

“I look to be unable to walk soon,” Just replied, wavering slightly.  “So yes, I am enjoying myself quite a bit.”  He smiled earnestly.

“Come,” Jester said, pulling his arm, “there are some Runners I want you to meet.”

She led him through the crowd where two men were standing off on their own, engaged in loud conversation.  One tall, the other short, both lean and weathered, their shoes worn down from miles.  The tall one was yelling at the shorter in a joking manner.

“Ah Willow, shove it up yer ass.  You got lost and you know it!”

“I did not get lost,” replied Willow, “I just was bored and decided to take a break from searching for mark, that’s all.”

“If he was really lost, he’d look like Just over here,” piped in Jester.  “I found him staggering around in the clearing not 100 yards from the Gothen farm.  Any further and he’d be answering to Gothen’s blade for trespassing!”

The two men looked over at the abrupt interruption of their conversation.  Blank stares dissolved into smiles as they looked over Jester, the firelight dancing over her face.

“Jester!” the tall one yelled.  “Glad yeh made it back in one piece!”

Willow looked over Just.  “So this Just got lost tonight, eh?”  His voice was hard, his eyes harder, and Just looked back, shifting his weight, unsure of what to say.

“My my, boy, if you’re going to get caught in the woods, I don’t think you could ask fer a better one to snare you then this lady!”  Willow clapped his hand on Just’s shoulder, and leaned in.  “S tell me, did you have a go out there in the dark woods?  It is a beautiful night!”  He made a large winking gesture.

“Oh don’t be an ass,” Jester said.  “Yes, this is a Just.  Yes he got lost.  And you know I am not as easy as those who you poach each week.”

“Ah, Jester and her sense of ‘pride,'” said the tall one.  He turned to Just.  “Well hello, then, good sir and welcome.  Let me introduce myself.  Though my birth name stays with me, around here I am known as Douse Thy Flame.”  He did a very low bow and came up grinning.

“And while my birth name is my own,” hiccuped the short one, “you can call me Willow, Oh Willow, Ohhh, or Willow for short, or WoWo for shorter.”  He also did a low bow, but had taken too much advantage of the generous ale hands and fell forward a bit.  The two older men erupted in laughter.

“Hang with these ones while I go deal with some business,” Jester said aside to Just, “they are your elder by age and Runs, and you can learn a lot from them.”

Just looked at the two men laughing in the dirt and hoped she was right.

Your regularly scheduled program this week is:

EWH3# 833: The “F*ck You, Pierre!” Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, June 5, 2014 – L’Enfant Metro (Every Line but Red)

Who hires a Frenchman to design a city?? Just as you’re sorting out the whole quadrants thing and the letter/number grid, BAM! a state street at an angle or worse, another frickin’ roundabout. Mon DieuQuel fromageBelettes coléreuses dans mon pantalon! Grab your baguette and let’s vilifyl’enfant terrible! (But hey, at least we’re not Boston, letting the damn *cows* lay out the roads…)

Shortcutters might find themselves *seriously* S.O.L. so try to at least keep the pack in sight. Expect fish-hooks and song checks. If you are not familiar with both of these terms, see chalk talk.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday June 5, 2014.  Pack away at 7:15!

Where: L’Enfant Metro (Yellow/Green/Blue/Orange/Silver Line).  Use Maryland Ave exit, follow marks to the start in Hancock Park.

Hares: Vladimir Fruitin, Third Girl Problems, Sorest Rump, Pinocchi-Ho, Four Whores and Seven Rears Ago, Infidellatio, Don’t Ask Don’t Smell, Just Kari, the entire orchestra ensemble, your mother…

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is live A to B.  PI risk is low, urban shiggy risk is high. Bring a headlamp(!), a headlamp, another headlamp, and dry shoes. Pleasant weather = be nice to Plan B!  Be smart, have fun.  YEAH!

Last trains out of the Waterfront Metro:

Branch Ave – 12:15 AM
Greenbelt – 11:41 PM (No Red Line Transfer Possible)

***To catch red line via Gallery Place, leave Waterfront by 11:22pm; however, transfer should still be possible after that via L’Enfant & Metro Center, if necessary.

WeatherH66L59; Winds ENE at 9mph. Chance of rain 30%

On On On

Cantina Marina

600 Water Street SW

Washington, DC 20024

Specials: $4.50 Fat Tire or Shift; kitchen open late! $29 Super Nachos (shovel not included)



(1) Save the Date: EWH3 Pubcrawl is Saturday, July 12!  More details to follow, but generally speaking, you’re in for a day-drinking bonanza of fun!

(2) H4 Full Moon Party Bus 2.0 on July 11th! Here we go again! After the July Full Moon trail, get on the bus for a wild ride to & from three clubs/bars. Each party bus will include music, lights, stripper poles, and wankers are allowed to bring their own “beverages” in resealable plastic containers for the bus. Don’t forget your ID! We are also allowed to leave bags on the bus, but you do so at your own risk. Price includes Full Moon trail, party bus, and hot food (provided by the bar at On-In after trail). Full details & rego here! –https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=17011

(3) The WH4 Camp Out will be July 25-27 in Rileyville, VA! For those of you not making the trek across the pond to Brussels, come join EWH3’s mother hash during their annual camp out. Rego includes multiple trails, all the beer you can drink, food, and TUBING! For more info, visit the WH4 website or Rego here!

(4) The 2014 DC Red Dress Run is open for registration and you can register here!  This event does sell out, so register now!

(5) The Pudjam Party (party for all the DC-area hashes) is on June 21st, 2014 @ 8PM! $20 for just the party and all proceeds will go to the Gary Sinise Foundation. There will also be seven trails throughout the weekend that will be centrally located around the party. Cost per trail is set by the kennel or you can buy the hash addict deal (party & all the trails) for $47! Party location is Dude, That Guy’s house at 12417 Arrow Park Ct., Fort Washington, MD 20744. Rego here! 

(6)Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Trails need hare-ing!  You wankers need to start looking into the summer, so check the hareline and then email me to reserve a date. (ewh3harerazor@gmail.com)

(7) Thirsty after work Friday?  Check out the most-always metro friendly Beltway Bob Hash Happy Hour http://www.dchashing.org/community/beltwaybob/  Tell them you’re from EWH3 and then drink everyone under the table.

(8) If you have NEVER hared before and want to jump on to some already established trails, shoot me an email and I will hook you up!