EWH3# 846: The Sweating to the 80’s Trail – 6:45 PM Thursday, August 28th- Cleveland Park (Red Line)

Happy Monday!

Sarah Silverman is high at the Emmy’s and you get this week’s hash to look forward to.  Yeah!

Check out the song of the week (SOTW) as designated by your Song Meister, HHH:

SOTW: Last Night I Stayed At Home and Masturbated
(sung to “Funiculi, Funicula”)

Last night I stayed at home and masturbated
It felt so good, I knew it would.
Last night I stayed at home and masturbated
It felt so nice, I did it twice.
You should have seen me on the long strokes
Straight up and down, straight up and down
You should have seen me on the short strokes
Tickle the crown, tickle the crown
Whack it, smack it
Bounce it off the floor.
Wrap it ’round the bedpost
Slam it in the door!
There are lots of people who think fucking is so great,
As for me I think I’ll stay at home and masturbate!
Drink it Down Down Down Down!


Your regularly scheduled program this week is:

EWH3# 846: The Sweating to the 80’s Trail – 6:45 PM Thursday, August 28th– Cleveland Park (Red Line)

Don your best Richard Simmons or Jane Fonda workout clothes and come Sweating to the 80’s with us this week in Cleveland Park.  Squeeze your buns!  Squeeze your buns! Squeeze your buns!….into a body suit, sweatbands, leg warmers, or some shiny tights!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday August 28, 2014.  Pack away at 7:15!

Where:  Cleveland Park Metro – Exit East Side and follow marks to Start

Hares: Unobtainium; In Your End, Ohhh; The lying, the Bitch, and the Whoredrobe; Just Meg; and Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, with some shiggy and a chance of PI so bring your socks!  Headlamps are a good idea since it’s getting dark earlier.  Trail is dog friendly.  It should be a nice night so pack light and bring a mug!  Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of the Cleveland Park Metro:

Glenmont – 11:56 PM
Shady Grove – 12:14 AM

WeatherH87L63; Winds NNW at 7mph

On On On: Uptown Tap House

3412 Connecticut Ave., NW

Washington, DC 20008


Specials: $2 off beer and wine, $5 rail drinks

$2 off: Wings, quesadilla, nachos, cobb salad, fried chicken salad, angus burger, lamb burger, California turkey club



(1) This year’s EWH3 Anything But Clothes (ABC) Trail is September 4th!  So, you know, start designing your costumes or Twinkle will get super pissy!

(2) The 2014 DC Red Dress Run is open for registration and you can register here!  This event does sell out, so register now!

(3) September Full Moon Trail Info

Sat September 13th DCFMH3 Trail Hosted by Hillbilly H3

WHO: Little Spermaid and her Merry band of Hillbillys

WHAT: A Mid-Evil Renaissance Full Moon Trail

WHERE: “START” location for Septembers DC Full Moon Trail is near the King Street Metro Station, 1900 King Street Alexandria, VA 22314

WHEN: Sat Sept 13th, Sign-In starts: 06:30pm ~ Hares Away: 07:00pm

WHY: To dress up in your best chain mail, frilly shirts, and tight bodices, chase some hares, have some Beers and Shots.

HOW MUCH: $15.00


Dog Friendly Factor: Dogs Should Be Fine on trail but not at the On-After.

Stroller Friendly Factor: Talk to the hares for stoller options on trail.

Final Disclaimer: Bring headlamps, dry clothes, dry shoes, condoms (as always… be safe!!), and your appetite for some beer, and… finally… should we remind you… shiggy-socks and/or PI Block and bug spray.

Oh… and please don’t forget those beautiful, young female virgins!!

QUESTIONS: Contact Sour Snatch My Rubber Back @ (540) 830-0148 or Little Spermaid @ (202) 306-8586

(4)Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Trails need hare-ing!  You wankers need to start looking into the summer, so check the hareline and then email me to reserve a date. (ewh3harerazor@gmail.com)

(5) Thirsty after work Friday?  Check out the most-always metro friendly Beltway Bob Hash Happy Hour http://www.dchashing.org/community/beltwaybob/  Tell them you’re from EWH3 and then drink everyone under the table.

(6) If you have NEVER hared before and want to jump on to some already established trails, shoot me an email and I will hook you up!