Hello Wankers!

 

Man, I really was LABORIN’ to get this to you yesterday, but had to wait until today!

 

Check out the song of the week (SOTW) as designated by your Song Meister, HHH:

 

SOTW: Why Was (S)He Born So Beautiful?

Sung to the tune of this!

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He’s no fucking use to anyone,
He’s no fucking use at all!

He may be a joy to his mother
(Doubt it!)
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me!
Drink it down down down…

 

Your regularly scheduled program this week is:

 

EWH3# 847: The 5th Annual Anything But Clothes Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, September 4th – Foggy Bottom Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Line)

If you don’t know the drill by now, the title says it all. Show up wearing anything but clothing! Wrap yourself in caution tape, aluminum foil or cardboard! Make a tuxedo out of duct tape or a liquid latex catsuit! Heck, in a pinch you can just wear a sheet as a toga – just don’t show up in clothes! The hares will reward your creativity with four shot checks – you may just want to take off Friday now.

 

On-Twinkle Juice-On,

The Hares

 

When6:45 PM Thursday September 4, 2014.  Pack away at 7:15!

 

Where:  Foggy Bottom Metro, follow marks to start north in Washington Circle

 

Hares: Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock, Dial F, The Gourd the Bad and the Slutty, Whiskey Bizness and 1 if by Man 2 if by She, Tweedle Cum

 

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’, dog friendly and probably pretty drunk. Seriously, just call in sick forFriday.  It should be a nice night so pack light and bring a mug!  Be smart, have fun.

 

Last trains out of the Foggy Bottom Metro:

Franconia-Springfield – 11:57 PM
Largo Town Center – 12:00 AM
New Carrollton – 11:50 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU – 12:10 PM

Wiehle-Reston East – 11:44 PM

 

WeatherH92L73; 10% chance of rain, Winds SE at 8mph

 

On On On: Rhino Bar

3295 M St NW

Washington DC, 20007

 

Specials: TBD

——————————————————————————————

BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS

 

(1) The 2014 DC Red Dress Run is open for registration and you can register here!  This event does sell out, so register now!

 

(2) September Full Moon Trail Info

 

Sat September 13th DCFMH3 Trail Hosted by Hillbilly H3

WHO: Little Spermaid and her Merry band of Hillbillys

WHAT: A Mid-Evil Renaissance Full Moon Trail

WHERE: “START” location for Septembers DC Full Moon Trail is near the King Street Metro Station, 1900 King Street Alexandria, VA 22314

WHEN: Sat Sept 13th, Sign-In starts: 06:30pm ~ Hares Away: 07:00pm

WHY: To dress up in your best chain mail, frilly shirts, and tight bodices, chase some hares, have some Beers and Shots.

HOW MUCH: $15.00

ADD’L INFO:

Dog Friendly Factor: Dogs Should Be Fine on trail but not at the On-After.

Stroller Friendly Factor: Talk to the hares for stoller options on trail.

Final Disclaimer: Bring headlamps, dry clothes, dry shoes, condoms (as always… be safe!!), and your appetite for some beer, and… finally… should we remind you… shiggy-socks and/or PI Block and bug spray.

Oh… and please don’t forget those beautiful, young female virgins!!

QUESTIONS: Contact Sour Snatch My Rubber Back @ (540) 830-0148 or Little Spermaid @ (202) 306-8586

 

(3)Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Trails need hare-ing!  You wankers need to start looking into the summer, so check the hareline and then email me to reserve a date. ([email protected])

 

(4) Thirsty after work Friday?  Check out the most-always metro friendly Beltway Bob Hash Happy Hour http://www.dchashing.org/community/beltwaybob/  Tell them you’re from EWH3 and then drink everyone under the table.

 

(5) If you have NEVER hared before and want to jump on to some already established trails, shoot me an email and I will hook you up!

 

Alright!

-WB