The trash from this week’s trail is coming up, just as soon as we finish this list of new year’s resolutions… [1. I’m never drinking again. 2. This time, I mean it. 3. No, I really do. Oh, look, a hash!]
Hangover Trail #41 (January 1, 2015)
Start: Francis Scott Key Memorial
Theme: National Hangover Day: The Ultimate Hangover Challenge!
Hares: Sorest Rump, Friends Don’t Let Friends F*ck Fat Chicks,
|Dr. Toolittle, St. Pauli’s Girl, Put It Out, Tuck Tuck Deuce|
Virgins: Just Chris, Just Lindsay, Just Raleigh
Visitors: Prostate Rights (Carolina Trash), Secunt (Vegas H3), Tin Tin (Stuttgart, Germany), 5 Balls (Stuttgart, Germany), 3.1 Whore (Tidewater H3), EZ Pass (Tidewater H3), Hair Cuntery (Shanghai H3 probably?)
2015 broke with a glorious sunny wintery (read: cold as f*ck) day just right for hashing. After a lovely brunch and social drinking at Clyde’s, the pack gathered in Georgetown in varying degrees of sobriety in anticipation of the trail. Punctually at 1:37 p.m., the turkeys and eagles headed toward the environs of Georgetown University and the penguins went the other way along the canal. For a fatboy trail, it was a lot to expect the penguins to scale the Exorcist stairs considering the evening before’s festivities but their exertion was rewarded with delicious, alcohol-infused pastries offered by YOCO at the top once they reached the shot check, with the first beer check mere steps away. The trail for the turkeys/eagles wended its way through the university and was chock-a-block with everything: athletic fields, rooftops, shiggy, pavement, and even a parking garage. At the second beer check, everyone reunited, then split off again to end up together at last at the on in next to the river. All in all, a great hashing day.
Don’t take our word for it. About the trail, from the mouths of hashers:
“I loved it! It was better than Cats! Sorest Rump is a genius!” – Saigon Sally
“It was perfect! All that was needed was a creek crossing and a tunnel!” – Bumspringa
Now, as to violations:
- At the second beer check after the three-minute warning to head out, Prostate Rights commented that it was a short three minutes and Sir Lancelittle disappointedly announced, “I’m used to a short three minutes.”
- Scrumbag bragged to some harriettes that he peed in his own nose and that when he hangs upside down, his dick slaps him in the face (Just what the *$%?! he was doing to discover this, we’d like to know)
- Hare Cuntery for racist gear and new shoes
- There’s a Clap for That was so out of it the night before that someone sharpied, “I penis” on his leg
- F5 alarmed some muggles when he smacked Prostate Rights in passing and a clearly appalled women exclaimed, “Oh, you pervert!”
- The hares included the Exorcist stairs on a fatboy hangover trail
- Sorest Rump is not, in fact, a genius (awww…)
- Stain Gretski for saying to Mambo # Hives, “I keep staring at your butthole. It’s a little off-center.”
- District 69 because she knows why (although I’m sure she’s already forgotten )
We wrap up with a special mention of Special Red, who offered an unusual rendition for “Today is Wednesday” for the end circle song (Is everybody happy? You bet your ass we are!). Then the pack retreated to Pinstripes for social drinking.
Happy new year, everyone!
Yours in the Hash,
Queen of the Jungle