When: March 5, 2015 (a.k.a 15 years since you heard these songs)

Where: McPherson Square (Blue / Orange lines)

Weather: 5+ in. of freshly fallen snow

Hares: GeriatricMandering, Bumspringa, Special Red, La Gingeracha, Just Gypsy

Virgins: (s)NO(w)

On After:  Fado’s

Oh, the weather outside was frightful. But the jello shots were so delightful. And since we lost our (common) sense long ago: hash in the snow, hash in the snow, hash in the snow!

Some of us ran, many of us walked, a few were detoured and nearly all did something dumb:

  • Schrodinger’s Cock and Sphincter Shy lost their balls and sense of direction on trail and had to text their SOs for help.
  • Pinocchi-Ho, Stain Gretzky and Infidellatio thought they were being sly in their discussion of ED and KY, but we know what they were really talking about: their mutual VD.
  • Vaginal Countdown finally got a name for her new live stream / game show: “Oh that’s what you’re squirting!”
  • Always the slippery one, Free Little Willy fell on trail.
  • While marking trail, the Hares treated us to their 17-year-old masturbatory fantasies with the bubblicious sight and smell of Bath & Body Works Sweet Pea lotion.
  • Hungry Hungry Homo had such trail flatulence, puffs of snow followed in his wake.
  • The The Lying, the Bitch, and the Whoredrobe celebrated #ThrowbackThursday with a “Hass”OrNot.com sexy avocado poll.
  • You Sucked My Battledick clearly left out a third option, when she asked Wank Like an Egyptian, “Are you a donkey or a rabbit?” Her reasoning? “Well, both are floppy and gray.”
  • The Hares followed DC’s snow removal policy and had no sweeper.

Before we departed for indoor libations, we had a very solemn occasion — a naming!

Meet Just Sarah, she is a friend of Mouthful of Clam, a transplant from Brooklyn and described her occupation as “machine learning.” A certain herb that is now legal for home enjoyment in our fair District was maybe the cause for some memory blips. There was the one time she broke into her own apartment, despite no longer living there; and a threesome which ended with a dude crying about his dead cat, but robots ruled the night (just like how they will eventually rule us all). For that reason and a few that are a bit fuzzy, please welcome C-4TwoOh.

Don’t bogart that joint, dude …

Mambo # Hives