December 31, 2015

  • Stadium Armory Metro
  • Hares: Don’t Ask Don’t Smell; Uno, Dos, Tres, LIFTOFF!; Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack; Poopdick; Please Step Away from the Whores
  • Brave little Virgin: Just Tom
  • On-after: DADS and Uno’s house!

New Year’s Eve brings vomit and regret, but also promises to be better in 2016! Curious about your fellow hashers’ resolutions? They’re shockingly all built from this week’s VIOLATIONS!

  • Fail Her Poon inaccurately described a tree as looking like a uterus. This year, I resolve to let him see female genitalia.
  • Tits for Tots described her boyfriend as “more like dark chocolate than milk chocolate.” This year, she resolves to work harder to produce his milk.
  • UNO was accused of having sex on trail, though DADS was nowhere to be found. For 2016, she resolves to spend more time with her uno, dos, tres fingers.
  • The HARES laid a point-to-point trail without checks. This year they promise not to lay any more “Fun Memorial 5k” trails.
  • Sorest Rump boldly resolved “NEW YEAR, NEW SHOES!” and paid the price dearly, and finally,
  • The Hares were violated for being some old acquaintances I resolve to forget!

Wishing you beer and laughter in the new year!

On-ward to 2016-On
Red, White, and Poo