When: Janurary 28, 2016
Where: Brookland-CUA (Red Line)
Hares: Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack, Lickthyologist, Please Step Away From the Whores, and mysteriously mystery hare
Virgins: Just Nick, Just JD, Just Gustavo
Visitor: One Trick Dick from Uticah
On-After: Brookland Pint
Trail was long and icy and spontaneously changed at the end because it turns out that Beer Check / End Circle spot has cameras and people who work past 7 PM! Off to the Comcast parking lot and its many choices of vaguely lit spots for Circle!
Silly wankers did stupid things!
All Flash No Drive reported that she had to turn down a cold cure that required gargling for 20 minutes because she “can’t hold anything in her mouth for that long.” Sad RPI.
Just JD went running in galoshes, but in fairness the entire pack tried to avoid the snow so as not to get their feet wet. It’s post SNOWZILLA people – you’re getting your tootsies cold and wet. Maybe Just JD had the right idea.
Haystack bit it a bunch of times and Pooples wore a racist shirt. https://wompwompwomp.com/
Texas Hold ‘Em gave free sex advice at the Scrotal Recall (because he’s a generous fella), while Issues and Tissues both might have gotten lucky at the playground on trail (because she’s a generous lady)!
And then we had a NAMING!!
Our fine harriette Just Christine has a spouse named Just Dan (who, btw brought her to the hash, but she beat him to getting named – that’ll make more sense in a minute), went to Wellesley, wants to have sex with The Doctor and Loki on a laser, knows what laser stands for, has a fondness for period sex and dresses like He-Man. There were a bunch of names thrown out that night, but ultimately (and for reasons no one can recall), we named her TWATERBOARDING!
On – lasernowstandsforlesbiansarousedbystimulatedemissionrectumsorsomething – on,