When: March 3, 2016

Where:  Woodley Park-Zoo / Adams Morgan Metro (Red Line)

Hares:  Bumspringa, GeriatricMandering, Have You Blown My Stapler, Kindergarten Cock, and Yariben

Virgins:  Just Sam

Visitor:  Pulp Friction

On-After:  Atomic Billiards

Violations:

  • Our lovely and intrepid virgin Just Sam had claimed at the start of trail that Bitt Romney made her cum, but she later revealed that really, it was her mom.
  • Even though crappy winter weather has left us needing to recruit some virgins, the hares ran trail right by the U.S. Naval Observatory and neglected an opportunity to invite Just Joe and Just Jill to join the pack on trail.
  • When yours truly was wandering around trail end begging for violations, I asked hashers to consider me like a confessional booth, and let them know that they could tell me anything and everything. Hearing this, Maybe It’s Gaybelline confided in me, “I’m a big boy!”
  • Schrodinger’s Cock was overheard on trail saying “it’s accumulating!” when there was no visible snow on the ground. Apparently he thinks that less than an inch is worthy of attention.
  • Duck Bill Cookie Puss claimed that he’s been absent from EWH3 for so long because of travel for his job at a toy company. But really, he was just holed up in his apartment stuffing teddy bears.
  • And finally, the hares were violated for breaking the laws of gravity and somehow laying a trail that was uphill the WHOLE. FREAKING. WAY.

And without further ado, we sought shelter from the snow in the warm embrace of Atomic Billiards.

 

On – I miss you guys! – on,

Stain Gretzky