When: March 24, 2015

Where:  West Hyattsville Metro (Green / Yellow Line)

Hares:  Moose Knuckles, C420, Unobtainium, Mouthful of Clam, and Just Charles

Virgins:  not even the Virgin Mary

Transplant:  Ghetto Man

On-After:  Old Dominion Brewhouse

It was a beautiful evening in a random-ass neighborhood in Maryland.  The pack ran over hill and dale, across highways, through sleepy residential areas, along train tracks, and through multiple playgrounds.  All Flash No Drive presided over a small but well run circle, and then it was time for me to step up.

Violations:

  • Quid Pro Blow was the only hasher to get on his knees to take shot check communion. Guess he was offering something in return to the priest-hares offering him the blessing.
  • Deaf Lesbian tried to become Electrocuted Lesbian by peeing on live train tracks. He also tried to become Sex Offender Lesbian by peeing in full view of a passing Metro car full of muggles.
  • Hares Moose Knuckles and C420 were violated for setting up camp on a children’s baseball diamond and forcing the pack to get to home base with them in order to take shot check.
  • Repeat offender Maybe It’s Gaybelline went to all the effort of donning a Jesus outfit and getting nice and res-ERECTED for the occasion, but to no avail. He definitely didn’t get nailed last night.
  • And the hares celebrated the last meal of Zombie Jesus by laying a trail so bland I could barely taste it. Flour cakes with chalk frosting.

And good thing we didn’t try to name anyone, cause yours truly was scraping the bottom of the barrel for jokes.  Dad jokes forever!

On – our long hashional nightmare is over – on,

Stain Gretzky