When: March 31, 2016

Where:  King Street Metro (Yellow / Blue Line)

Hares:  Yeast Infection, YOCO, Big in Japan, Martial Farts, Happy Poo Year, and Just Korey

Virgins:  Just Dustin, Just Chris, Just Mikael, Just Billy, and Just Leah

Visitor:  Numb Nuts, Bananas Deep, and Poop Loop Pew Pew Pew

On-After:  Sweet Fire Donna’s

Violations

  • You Can’t Handle The Poop told everyone that he’s a role model African American female because he’s a Capital Bike Share model. YASSSS QUEEN.
  • Lickthyoligist, General’s Farm Animal, Schrodinger’s Cock, and Diddle Her On The Roofie got lost trying to run walkers’ trail. And had to ask a stripper for help.
  • Just Mischa complained about a lack of dick checks while Just Erin said she was looking for some fun athletic girlfriends! There’s something for everyone at the hash, I guess.
  • Big in Japan tried to use Cum Locker as a trash dumpster. Don’t disrespect your brew crew, kids!  That’s how we all get sober and hangry.
  • Virgin Queen asked me to inspect a plant that “blows seed all over you.” Then he gave me a coupon for virginity pact socks.
  • Just Graham announced that he wished he was a Senator so that he could go to town on his colleagues. Easy there, Anthony Weiner.
  • The hares sent us down a double barrel tunnel and much of the pack missed shot check. Talk about shooting blanks.

And, we had an aborted naming.  We heard some pretty weird stories about driving drunk and getting shafted, and a variety of things that can be found in ass cracks.  But in the end, we mostly had embarrassing stories about some guy named Todd.  Truly, the biggest embarrassment of the night was that I forgot to make a Netflix and Chillary joke.

On – MORE LIKE MARCH SADNESS – on,

Stain Gretzky