When: April 14, 2016
Where: Gallery Place
Hares: Rosetta Bone, By the Power of Gayskull, Deathly Swallows, La Gingeracha, Head Injury, and The Lying the Bitch and the Whoredrobe
Virgins: Just AT, Emily, John
Visitor: Animal, Cumbodian Beach Buffet (really a transfer but still)
Trail was long and painful and confusing just like your taxes.
In all of that, you wankers did some stupid shit. And here’s a sampling!
Whoredrobe was violated for naming Geriatric’s boobs “Trump” and “Cruz” – and now she’s longer allowed to touch them. Speaking of touching lady parts, Clam was violated for complaining that he can’t find the
clit button. But in other news, he DID find his high school jersey, complete with full nerd name, to wear on trail!
Dial F was violated for wearing the shorts of the last teenage girl who stayed at his house and left them behind. And Moose Knuckles for wearing her jeans.
Deathly Swallows was violated for claiming that she is dry until her birthday but meanwhile holding a big, wet
dick jug. How can we believe her?
Just Michelle was violated for slapping everyone’s ass EXCEPT her boyfriend’s, and Polly Wanna Crack Whore was clearly turned on by the favor because he was caught having phone sex on trail. Ok, that one is kind of hash appropriate behavior.
Then your friendly circle had some things to say, and then … we had a naming!
Just Andrew was loquacious. I’ll sum up: he works for DC United, he banged Toshi (not Tosh.homo) at 18, but jizzed early; he likes to stick his tongue in small holes and spends his vacations at the Days Inn, except that one time when he was ball-gagged and drunk in a Marriott. He tied his girlfriend to some curtains so she would make him jizz in his own face. And he likes it in the kitchen. The names were varied, and an homage to Nirvana was almost had, but in the end he shall forever be known as Selfie Stick!