When: 6:45 PM Thursday April 21st, 2016.
Where: Navy Yard – Green Line!
Hares: The Lying the Bitch and the Whoredrobe, Vaginal Countdown, La Gingeracha, Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me, Head Injury, and GeriatricMandering
Virgins: Just Shu, Stephanie, Shannon, Steve, Laura, Lauren, Linda, Brie
Visitors: Fuck U I’m Leaving; Rape Si Vous Plait; Cockaholic; Soup Kitchen (I may have misheard that one)
On-After: The Big Stick
Trail was short, flat and dry – nothing like a Natty Lite… right? There was a river crossing, involving a bridge, an abandoned looking parking lot for beer check, and I’m pretty sure we didn’t lose anyone. Bonus!
And of course, you wankers did some stupid shit.
- Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock sucked the Scribe’s pen and broke it. Euphemism. Probably. He also blamed his girlfriend for his inability to give a crisp high-five.
- Just Kieran (the dog that escaped and ran off at the start of trail) was violated for being the worst sub ever. Doesn’t respect the collar.
- Stain Gretzky played hokie pokie in traffic – but did we really expect more?
- Honey Bunches of Cunt called his mom from trail. Yeah. He did.
- Just Steve solved a tit check by flashing his chest… to the surprise of some muggles.
- And then there was Gaybelline… not JUST Gaybelline, thank you Red White and Poo for the later violation of this scribe for that:
- Gaybelline & Stain for plaing on the EWH3 Quidditch team
- Gaybelline always knew he liked cleaning products, but today he learned he likes brooms in the kitchen
- Gaybelline for asking harriettes to touch his 2 inch nimbus on trail
- Gaybelline for body checking his 2 inch nimbus into a pole
And, FINALLY, after all that shaming and discussing of Gaybelline and his pole, came a very solemn occasion – a NAMING!
Just David was brought to the hash by RPI, he went to UNH, loves Norwegian porn and toys (really? who doesn’t). He once banged a Norwegian toy under a bush in a park (I made that up. There was no park). He was arrested at his sister’s graduation, once gave a woman a car in exchange for sex (two separate incidents). He also “throws down at dance the night.” His words, not mine. Probably. There were some great names for this one – involved lutefisting, fiestas, anal and yoga. Sometimes combined! But in the end, henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing, Just David shall be known as Ass For Clunkers!!
On –thatwasasweetalleyevenwiththecrackhead– on,