When: April 28, 2016

Where:  Tenleytown Metro (Red Line)

Hares:  GeriatricMandering, Quantum Whizics, Vaginal Countdown, The Lying, The Bitch, and the Whoredrobe, Schrodinger’s Cock, and Yariben

Virgins:  Just Brittany, Just Matt, Just Vivian, and Just Ale

Visitors:  Ah-Sole (Sydney), Taint My Problem (Boston), Cleavage to Beaver (BFM Philly), Cum On The Record (Big-Hump St. Louis), Boob a Loob (Singapore? Shanghai? Something over there)

On-After: GUAPO’S

Violations

  • Diddle Her On The Roofie’s candidate lost the election, so he’s devoting his time training for the US Olympic speed skating team. (This is a visual joke, he was wearing full body spandex.  It was funny, OK?! Gosh, you people are hard to please.)
  • Yariben’s car broke on his way to get to trail because he had a (sexy) avocado shoved in his tail pipe.
  • Virgin Just Matt asked if he could eat my placenta. Also I wrote down that he said that his anus shut in the 80s.  Don’t remember what that was about but felt like y’all should know that.
  • Vaginal Countdown was complaining that her cat was having trouble pooping. T to the rescue!  The official advice is that her cat’s poop should be the consistency of a ripe avocado and the color of an overripe avocado.
  • Shits Fired gets street cred for being the only one to actually do an avocado check properly. Why pay $4 for a sack of avocados at Trader Joe’s when they are complimentary with my hash cash?  And bad job hares for setting the pack up to expose their collective nuts within 100 yards of an elementary school.
  • Just Gustavo was called out for selling himself at auction and for having made at least 4 of the other Justs on trail cum. High five, bro!
  • And shout-out to my girl Just Shannon for getting on my back 5 minutes after meeting me and riding me all the way up the hill at that piggyback check. That’s fuckin’ teamwork.

It was cold and rainy as shit so there was no naming!

 

On – a whole pitcher of margaritas just for me?! oh you shouldn’t have! – on,

Stain Gretzky