When: June 16, 2016

Where:  Dunn Loring Metro (Orange Line)

Hares:  Sorest Rump, Wookin Pa Nub, Deaf Lesbian, Slumberjack, You Only Cum Once, and Moose Knuckles

Virgins:  Just Sabrina, Just Elyse, Just Mark, Just Kevin

Visitor:  Country Fried Semen – Forth Worth Urban H3

On-After:  BlackFinn (but I only went there to use the bathroom)

Trail was far away, long, dark, wet, and so tight I couldn’t stand all the way up.  I definitely left Eagle trail feeling violated.  Speaking of which, some dumb shit happened on trail.  (But not that much, because everybody tryna get home before Friday afternoon #safetrack #sucktrack.)

Violations

  • Tuck Tuck Deuce refused to drink a mimosa shot check on trail because he was suspicious of the color. He probably would have drank it if we told him it was Metamucil.
  • GeriatricMandering agreed to start circle only after a large crowd of white people had gone by.
  • Maybe It’s Gaybelline jumped out of the creek during the first half of trail because he was afraid of holes he couldn’t see. But later, when Sorest Rump invited him into his gaping hole, he went head first.
  • The hares butchered the Turkey trail so badly that we got some depressing insight into the beaks-‘n’-feathers pie they ate at Thanksgiving growing up.
  • Commendation: Just Mark solved about 90% of the checks on the second half of Eagle trail. “Circle, circle!!  Arrow, arrow!!”  Well done, sir.  You’re going to make a fabulous hasher.  #soproud

And it was rainy and windy and lightningy and terrible so we all scurried upstairs to the bar.  No naming.

On – I lost my manhole virginity – on,

Stain Gretzky