When: July 14, 2016

Where:  Smithsonian Metro (Orange, Blue, and Silver Lines)

Hares:  Cum Brew Lay, Bumspringa, Close Your Eyes And Hope For The Breast

Virgins:  Justs Joey, Luis, Elizabeth, Katie, Daniel, Andy, Michelle, Shannon, Erin, Scott, Other Scott, Bobby, Tristan, Amy, Anne, Grace and some other ones that hid from me

Visitor:  Yes We Gay!  (Richmond H3)  Four more beers!; Just Skye (Pittsburgh H3)

On-After:  The Big Stick (hon hon hon)

Violations

  • The hares set beer check up down wind of a nasty fish smell. Come on people, I thought this was the Bastille Day trail, not the Mother’s Day trail.
  • Maybe It’s Gaybelline was bragging about how he survived Medley of Mud last weekend. I didn’t believe he went, so he lifted up his shorts and tried to show me his gash.
  • GeriatricMandering told a long meandering story about getting her ears pierced while growing up in the South. Moral of the story: it’s only $5 a hole in Georgia!
  • Stunt Flash Head Injury took a hundred pictures of Diddle Her On The Roofie, Twaterboarding, and From Russia With Blood having a booty shorts competition, muttering under his breath “these are for my personal collection.”
  • Ass For Clunkers couldn’t find any harriettes to talk to at the end of trail, so instead he just lay face down on the ground, aligning his hips with rail road tracks on the ground. Now that’s what I called getting railed!

Thanks to Mambo # Hives for presiding over a rowdy and fun circle, thanks to Brew Crewers Can’t Find Pussy In A Haystack and Tumble Cry, and shoutout to my boy Just Philbrick for doing a bang up job as beer bitch and also letting me chomp on his baguette.

And we had a very solemn occasion – A NAMING!!!!  Just Sam went to Pitzer College, and now works for the NIH studying brains ‘n’ stuff.  One time in college she had a threesome with some other a capella dweebs.  She worked at a circus camp, teaching children how to make and walk on stilts.  She lost her virginity after making her boyfriend wait 6 months, and then let his grandparents participate in the big event.  Strong contenders included Cirque de Three Way and Two Girls, One Tusk, but since she wears flowy shirts that give her elf boobs, say hello to Keebler Shelf!

On – here come the strippers! – on,

Stain Gretzky