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All these tourists are impossible to deal with in the summer time. They never stand on the correct side of the escalator, they always walk 5-people-wide (even when there’s only 2 of them), and they hire lousy bus drivers/hitmen(or women) to try and run us over, and then call it an “accident” in hopes of taking over the city!

Now, we fight back! Let’s show these sunburned, socks-with-sandals-wearing drifters the other side of DC.

Wear your most outrageous get-up. Something that will startle the children, shock the parents, and flabbergast the elderly.

The tourist season will be coming to a close soon. So, if we are successful, we should be able to walk down an escalator, uninterrupted, come next spring.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday August 18th, 2016. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Farragut West/North .  For Farragust West, take the 17th and I exit.  For Farragut North, take the Connecticut and K exit.  Follow marks to park!

Hares: I’m Tho Thor, Bless Me Father for I have Rimmed, Tuck Tuck Deuce, Sphincter Shy, Whoregon Trail, Don’t Ask Don’t Smell, Red Vag of Courage

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. Little to no PI. Dog & stroller friendly. Be aware that trail will come close to Federal property. It should be effing hawt because it’s DC in August. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, startle tourists, and earn the coveted judgey-side-stare.

Last trains out of Farragut West (Orange/Blue/Silver):
Franconia-Springfield – 11:55 PM
Largo Town Center – 12:02 AM
New Carrollton – 11:52 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU – 12:08 AM
Wiehle-Reston East – 11:42 PM

Last trains out of Farragut North (Red):
Glenmont – 12:02 AM
Shady Grove – 12:08 AM

Metro Alerts/Advisories
SafeTrack Surge #7
Red Line: Every 30 minutes. SafeTrack Surge #7 continuous single tracking between Shady Grove & Twinbrook continues
Orange Line: Every 20-25 minutes
Silver Line: Trains operate between Wiehle-Reston East & Eastern Market station only.
Blue Line: 20-25 minutes
Yellow Line: Regular weeknight service
Green Line: 20-25 minutes. Single tracking between Fort Totten & Prince George’s Plaza

On After: The Exchange
1719 G St NW
Washington, DC 20006

Specials: TBD.