EWH3 Hash Trash #964: The Hogwarts Back to School Trail!

When: September 1, 2016 (obviously)

Where:  Union Station (Red Line)

Hares:  GeriatricMandering, Maybe It’s Gaybelline, Camo Sutra, Stain Gretzky, and Ejaculation, Overruled!

Virgins:  Justs Devon Kathy, Michael, Brian Not-W, Alex, Andrew, and Brian W!

Visitors:  only a transplant – welcum Can’t Find Tail

On-After: The Alibi

Trail was meandering, a firetruck honked at the walkers, the hares apparently wrote terroristic threats like “magical forest,” (still do not understand how that instills concern), beer check and end circle locations apparated into each other’s locations – pretty sure cats and dogs were also living in sin.  And then you wankers, OF COURSE, did some stupid things.  Like these!

  • Jewcocka wouldn’t tell us what happened that one time at Running Camp
  • Battledick was heard to say “I looked around but 1.5 inches was the biggest I could find!”  Must have been around hashers.
  • Fail Her Poon took his time mid-trail in a bar to have a PBR, watch some sports, take a piss and then sprinted Walkers Trail to catch the pack.
  • Just Duke ran in his invisibility cloak, which really looked more like a used condom.  Something something disappearing dick.  Then Just Duke tried to perform a swish & dick spell, but a vagina did not appear!
  • Just Devon dropped her beer in circle.  Alcohol abuse!
  • Polly Wants a CrackWhore can’t wait for puberty!
  • And finally, the hares were violated:
    • For using a marauder’s map to lay trail!
    • Because blind trails are true trails at Hogwarts!
    • And because trail was so hot, sweaty and repetitive that we all got Hogwarts!

And then after all of that (and many other violations from the crowd).. there was A NAMING!

Just Kylie is from Hooooodbridge, went to VA Tech where she learned to be a CPA and to spread rumors about the women she wants to bang.  She loves amateur lesbian porn that features knitting, but also goes for some super hero action in the form of Iron Man and the Hulk (she thinks those refer to dick status… I made that up… she doesn’t think that).  But because she likes chicks and big dicks (who doesn’t, really?) henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing, Just Kylie shall be known as Mary Magnumlay!


C. Damage