When: September 8, 2016

Where:  Mount Vernon Square / Convention Center Metro (Green/ Yellow Line)

Hares:  Schrodinger’s Cock, You Can’t Handle The Poop, Unobtanium, Vaginal Countdown, and Rosetta Bone

Virgins:  Justs Shahen, Hunter, Daniel, Kevin, John, Franny, Franklin, and Hannah

Visitor:  Princess Pissy Sheets (California Larrikins H3, San Diego), Easy Bake (Texas), I Swallow (Carolina Larrikins), High Speed Cock Bumper (Tidewater H3), Willy Wonka and the Backdoor Factory (Boston H3 – transplant, yay!)

On-After:  Irish Channel

Violations:

  • Chip Off The Old Cock remarked that hers wasn’t very big or deep, but Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me assured her that they can fit more in there if they do it a lot of times.
  • Blow Me Closer Tiny Dancer, Geriatric Mandering, and Colliteral Damage celebrated their mutual love of intrauterine devices with a clam five! Or three, I guess?
  • Willy Wonka and the Backdoor Factory’s schnozzberries taste like schnozzberries.
  • Vladimir Frutin cut off an old lady on trail, who subsequently fell and rolled into a bush and Vlad didn’t even help her up. That’s not very safe!  Personally, if an old lady fell into my bush, I’d get it up right away.
  • The Greatest Ho on Earth brought the ballsack she came out of to the hash. It was attached to her Virgin, Just John.  Pretty sure he’s not a virgin, tbh.
  • And commendation to the hares for ensuring that there were porta potties not only at beer check but also at end circle. Thanks for taking care of my chocolate factory, guys!

And since we couldn’t do it in a playground two weeks ago, we had a very solemn and special occasion… A NAMING!!!  Just Brie hails from Ohio, went to U Cincinnati (Go Bearcats!), and studied neuroscience.  Now she’s a public health do gooder of some sort.  She banged in an empty matinee theater once and her most embarrassing hobby is the hash (boo).  She’s got Jungle Fever and is not sneaky about indulging this particular predilection at parties at her house.  She also loves fish tacos and banging in pickup trucks.  Some great suggestions included Four By Whore and Ebony And Inside Of Me, but henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of naming, Just Brie shall be known as Spread For The City!

On – the things I put in my mouth get me in trouble – on,

Stain Gretzky