EWH3 Hash Trash #967: The Pirates and Mermen Trail!

When: September 22, 2016

Where:  Foggy Bottom Metro (Orange / Blue / Silver Line)

Hares:  Lickthyologist, You Can’t Handle The Poop, Camo Sutra, Yariben, Maybe It’s Gaybelline, and Fish ‘N’ Tits

Virgins:  Justs Daniel, Allison, Carl, Maggie, and Katie

Visitors:  Jigglytits from Boston, Ass Gagger from Austin, and Cheap Whore from Hill Country

On-After:  Cantina Marina


  • Kindergarten Cock caught a branch with his face on trail. Oh boy, another wood joke!  Talk about low hanging fruit. #metajoke #intellectualAF #highbrowcomedy
  • Diddler On The Roofie was concerned about not getting a job should his future employer see him running through the Watergate Hotel. Pretty sure the DC Madam appreciates physical fitness from her employees.
  • Cleavage To Beaver said of end circle, “it smells like I ran trail and didn’t shower for two days and fucked a homeless man. Actually two homeless men. Without a condom.”
  • The hares were commended for supplying a unique 3 hour walking tour of the monuments for only $6!
  • Throwback Thursday: Just Garrett made his virgin hash memorable by projectile vomiting Twinkle Juice ™ all over the inside of a Metro car last week after trail. Sorry for partying.
  • And Squirtle, for coming one last time before she runs off to Montana. That bitch!

And finally, mateys, we had a very solemn occasion for Just Collin!  Just Collin does anal for a living and spent his entire grad school experience drinking whiskey.  One time he got so krunk he woke up cuddling a vacuum cleaner and walked home with trash bags for shoes.  He fucked one of his mom’s 35-year-old hair salon clients in the salon, got caught by the husband, and did such a bad job telling that story that he made it sound boring.  He’s lived abroad and masturbated in the Canadian embassy.  Oh, and he fucked his French teacher.  Some strong contenders included Sacre Blue Balls and Mrs. Throbbingson, but henceforth and forevermore throughout the word of hashing, Just Collin shall be known as Eiffel Plow Her.

On – booty booty booty booty buried everywhere! – on,

Stain Gretzky