EWH3 Hash Trash #968: The 6th Annual All Virgin Gang Bang Trail
When: September 29, 2016
Where: Brookland-CUA (Red Line)
Hares: Dial F for Faggot, Just Luke, Just Addey, Just Jai, Just Martin, Just Hilary, & Just Jaime
Virgins: Justs Liz, Jeff, Dave, Peter!
Visitors: Red Dong from Vulcan Birmingham (kind of Jigglytits, but she’s here for a while)
On-After: San Antonio Bar and Grill
Trail was long, wet in the misery way and cold. Probably like your very own virgin gang bang. Ahhhh mammaries. Walkers went literally on an out and back, runners managed not to get wrapped up in that bridge confusion that often happens and even all of the hares made it back!
Circle was remarkably entertaining for the lack of booze (thanks Metro cops and then later regular cops!) It certainly helped that you wankers did some stupid things.
- We started off, however, with a commendation for everyone who made that human wall so we could see some transplant dick!
- Just Liz asked Gingeracha what his hashtag name was. Then she insisted that she didn’t. We neither care, nor tell many truths. Drink!
- Semen on the Pew for being gone SO LONG, that he forgot the virgin song.
- Tragic had his own informal naming of Just Jaime while he was trying to walker hare – commendation to Just Jaime, and apologies to the random muggle women that overheard Tragic.
- Issues & Tissues almost ran into a chain link fence. Would-be-fan-boy Just Danny stayed with her to make sure ok – then Issues attempts to flirt by saying she gets distracted by cute boys… and immediately gets clotheslined by a tree branch. S’mheraps the ‘would-be’ got dropped later…
- Twatterboarding found a surprise hole on trail and went head first. Well done getting wet on trail.
- Bow Chicka Chicka bow bow claimed “accidental licking” for licking a book he found in an alley. Not even a euphemism! And then he tried to lick this scribe’s face. Also not a euphemism!
- Just Hannah tried to order a vegan pizza after trail last week. She woke up covered in sores and burns. And that’s what happens when you make the pizza gods angry.
- Just Jai was violated for poking Atari in the eye. That’s not where that goes! She also ripped a finger nail off on trail – she has suffered for you!
- Finally, last but not least, Unobtanium for wearing a racist shirt. Two of them. Seriously.
Due to the aforementioned cop presence, there was no naming. Next time, Justs, next time!
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C. Damage