When: November 3, 2016

Where:  Eastern Market Metro (Blue / Orange / Silver Line)

Hares:  Felt like none, but actually Ginger Snatch, Downward Facing Doggystyle, Cum Brew Lay, Tony Panda, and Strange Ground Chuck

Virgins:  Just Sentai, Just Bernardo, Just Cilio, Just Seth, Just Georgie – all dudes and all single!!!

Visitor:  Imagine My Erection (NOLA / Voo Doo), Dim Suck (Madison Wisconsin); Bare Back (homeless / DC kinda)

On-After:  Cap Lounge

Violations

  • Homo On The Range made the kennel proud with his raceist behavior – third place in the high heel drag race!! Still managed to take a pole to the face on trail though.
  • Texas Hold Him bragged about his retirement savings. He’s got a 401k, everybody!  K for cock.  He’s touched 401 kocks.  #notshocked
  • Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me was a cautionary tale. He showed off his stylish boot and served as a warning against the teenage girl curse… walking and texting.
  • Just Brian and No Strings Attached threw down in an epic harlequin lacrosse shorts walk off. WHO WORE IT BETTER?  (See hash flash: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ewh3/30147069944/)
  • The hares were told to limit trail to 4 miles, so they laid a 4.5 mile trail and just didn’t put down any marks for that last half mile.  WHOOPS A DAISY!!!
  • And SOME ASSHOLE put their WINTER HAT IN A PITCHER OF BEER.

And, we had a very solemn occasion – a NAMING!!!  Say hello to Just Hilary.  She does anal research for commercial real estate and her biggest claim to fame was her roommate’s boyfriend peeing on her bed.  While she was in it.  She lost her virginity and had her first orgasm in the same night!!!  The guy was the chef at the restaurant at which she was a server.  The worst thing she ever did to someone that they liked was cock and ball torture.  The worst thing she ever did to someone that they didn’t like was punch a guy in the dick.  They still banged though.  She’s polyamorous and has an extra small vagina – not sure how she manages to maintain both of those things concurrently.

Suggestions included: Rock Em Sock Em Blow Bot and Wolfgangbang Puck, but the crowd gets what it wants, so henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing, Just Hilary shall be known as Chicken Soup For The Teenage Hole!

On – Kodos 2020 – on,

Stain Gretzky