When: December 1, 2016
Where: Bethesda (Red Line)
Hares: Pinocchi-Ho; Goldman Ballsacks; Atari 6900; Don’t Ask, Don’t Smell; Just Hanna; Just Franny
Virgins: Just Katie, Just Dane, Just Theresa, Just Sean, Just Ahmed, Just Reese
Visitor: Fuck Like A Tank; Dazed & Confused; Fall On A Key; Shock My Monkey
On-After: The Barking Dog
Emotions were divided for many Hashers as they came together to observe the death of Cuban dick-tator, Fidel Castro. Putting differences aside, the hashers banded together to fight the forces of sobriety and grumble about the hares, who may have well been a bunch of Fulgencio Batista’s. Lost on trail, the Hashers reacted like the trapped rebel at the Bay of Pigs and made many a mess of themselves. Below are just a few examples:
- The Hares were sanctioned for suffering an internal coup that led to the walker’s trail becoming a bigger disaster than the aforementioned Bay of Pigs.
- Dial F was observed before circle changing into jeans with his back to his fellow Hashers. It would appear Cuba’s embargo burdened economy wasn’t the only thing to shrink during this cold war [night].
- The clock almost reached midnight when Rosetta Bone was overheard admitting that she “runs hot”. Thank goodness Rosetta is a delightful Harriette and not the Cold War!
- When asked for violations, Cooter Cunte and R.O.B. immersed themselves in a heated debate over the identity of the one or two black Hashers in attendance. This author felt like Jed Clampett because he had just struck black gold.
- Texas Hold Him found himself in the middle of a dark, grassy field and immediately started making jokes about whether or not he had just seen a contact lense or condom on the ground. Texas, the poor comrade, was obviously reliving the memory when he lost his contact lense and didn’t see that condom cumming.
In observance of the already solemn passing of El Presidenté, there was no equally solemn occasion that is a naming. Instead, our comrades in arms went arm in arm to the bar and got drunk.
On – Adiós Fidel – On
Wait Wait, Don’t Fuck Me