When: December 8, 2016

Where: Tenleytown

Hares: All Flash No Drive, I’m Tho Thor, You Sucked My Battle Dick, Maybe It’s Gaybelline, Sphincter Shy, and Whoregon Trail

Virgins: Just Tanya, Just Naz, Just Adam, Just Sarah, Just Cody, Just Becky, Just Michelle

Visitors: Froggy Style, Pussy Guts, Miss Delivery, 4gasm, Beheaded

On-After: Guapos

This week’s trail was all about revelations. We learned that some of us don’t remember how to dress for winter, including Just Ben who tried to run trail while only wearing wearing nipple tassels. Unfortunately the tassels were lost when his nipples sprung like a pop-up turkey timer.

While he normally has a low level of “old man yells at cloud”, we discovered why Tuck Tuck Deuce was extra grumpy: he had planned a Tenleytown trail in a couple weeks, but our alpha, All Flash No Drive, beat him to it. It isn’t often that the lady comes before he does.

Speaking of trail, when you look at your GPS, you’ll see the first half was laid out in the shape of a dick. Your scribe knew it felt familiar.

Diddler on the Roofie wore his costume from the time he was understudy for Yoda in “Star Wars Holiday Special”. That special’s budget was low, but apparently so was its standards.

Rosetta Bone was commended for punching Just Brian in the face on trail, an urge felt by anyone who has seen his face.

And the biggest revelation of the night was the theme for 2017 WIE. Our hares teased and hinted about ravaging the stacks and being open for circulation. But Whoregon Trail gave us what we were looking for. Pack your horns and leather elbow patches, because the theme for 2017 WIE is Librarians and Barbarians!

Finally, we decided we wanted to learn more about a special hasher, and named Just Jaime. Just Jaime learned about hashing via Reddit, in between gaming sessions and looking at college nun porn. The meanest thing he ever did was walking past a person stuck in an elevator (he had to get back to those nuns!). His idea of a good time includes stealing cars in Ocean City and listening to all the white rappers. But because he works in cancer research and loves creepy video game characters, henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing, Just Jaime shall be known as Necrocancer!

Following the naming, we all discovered Gupaos, where we drank strong margaritas and listened to culturally discordant hits from the early 80s.

On – The Rain’s Down in Africa – On

Texas Hold Him