When: January 26, 2017
Where: King St. Metro (Yellow Line)
Hares: Pinocchi-Ho, Poophole’s Mountain Majesty, Red Vag of Courage, I’m Tho Thor, Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack!
Virgins: Just Jason, Just Kamaria
Visitors: No visitors!
On-After: Rock-It Grill
It was a spooky night in King St. (and all over this great land for that matter) and Hashers and Harrietts ran scared through the streets of Alexandria. Fear makes people do some silly things, and below are just a few examples:
- While running through a cemetery the Hashers received a jolt when a harsh voice exclaimed “get off my lawn”. Fortunately the speaker was no ghoul or zombie, but Tuck Tuck Duece practicing for his impending afterlife.
- No One Puts Gaybe In A Corner lived up to his name as he ran scared through Alexandria holding a baby bottle full of beer! He was obliged to chug his “milk” in front of those assembled.
- After a two year hiatus from the Hash, Dick Front Property gave into his fears and deserted his wife and two children for a boozy evening.
- Stain Gretzky was overheard on trail explaining that if it’s less than an inch you can’t get wet. Guess Atari 6900 has some explaining to do!
- And finally, The Hares were violated for making the entire hash shit themselves at beer check. Yes folks, that was the smell.
And then it was time for a very special occasion – A NAMING!
Just Cara is from Montana but grew up in South Dakota. Dog person. She works at a think tank and earned her degree from Montana State Uni. She once skipped government class in HS to lose her virginity, only to have her Grandmother Mary walk in on her losing it doggie style. She is old enough to know what a land line is. Her older brother once threw her through a wall. For revenge, she hid a thumbtack in his bed. Likes sex while blindfolded and is violently allergic to meat. She has been arrested twice – once a protest in SD and once just for snowboarding. Only likes high-brow porn. Wants to fuck a liger. She shat herself while her car was on fire. Once told a dude his friends jokes about his small Penis were true. Has never had an STD but has had sex in The Badlands. Likes the ladies but once had a failed threesome. Wants to bang a polar bear (and a liger?). She’s tricky – having once given a group of student senators diarrhea via sugar free gummis. Finally, she told a man she’d bite out his throat and fuck it, and nicknamed her vagina Snoopie.
There were many, many good names this fine evening, but in the end Just Cara will be known as (except Great Falls, b/c f*ck them) as Queer Today, Ghana Tomorrow!
On – boo! – on,
Wait Wait, Don’t Fuck Me