EWH3 Hash Trash #999: The Panda gets Shamrocked White Dress Run

When: Thursday, March 30, 2017
Where: Rosslyn Metro (Orange/Blue/Silver)
Hares: 3 Licks to the Center of the Titty Pop, CoXXX on Demand, Muff-n-Man, You Sucked My Battledick, Colliteral Damage
Virgins: Just HW, Just Dan, Just Briana
Visitors: Special Red  & Wreath Around
On-After: The Continental Pool Lounge
We had a Very Special™ trail this week!
Every once in awhile two hashers get very drunk decide to make whatever this is, official.
Shamrock Your Cock and Tony Panda met exactly 9 years ago, at EWH3’s 469th trail. Shamrock was the walker’s hare, and TP was just a drunk asshole who crashed their prom without rego-ing. As was tradition at the time – and something we should consider revisiting – he tried to buy the comely hare a drink. As she tells it “I opened my mouth to say ‘no’, but a ‘yes’ came out.” Sometimes the heart knows what it wants. And that heart wanted another beer.
May your life be filled with fewer BTs and more BNs. Congratulations and Best Wishes.
Violations
  • Whoregon Trail and Sphincter Shy brought matching lamps to trail. Adorable! Last time they bought a matching his and her’s set it was butt plugs. Normally this is where I’d make a butt joke, but there isn’t any room!
  • Just Hanna was feeling a little under the weather, so didn’t “want to put her mouth on anything communal.” Apologies to Dial F‘s dick.
  • Brew Crew conveniently “forgot” to have water at beer check. I think it was just to force people to drink the terrible beer.
  • As we all arrived at end circle, we received four leaf clover necklaces and got “Shamrocked.” Later that evening when we had mediocre sex, we got “Tony Panda-ed”
  • Fuku-shemale was commended for helping Periodic Fable carry her stroller up the stairs. Smart move, you know she puts out.
  • Feedback from trail included “This makes no sense”, “So many dead ends”, “How did I not see a single boob?” Great job hares, what a great metaphor for marriage.
The weather was gorgeous and only one sad man was working in his office, so we stuck around for a very solemn occasion. A Naming!
Just John reminded us that Basic Bros exist, and they are among us. He answered every question with the most typical answer you could imagine. So, instead of recapping what sad things he said, I’ve turned his answers into a madlib! Maybe you can make him sound more interesting
But, because he once insulted a lady-friend’s sister with Downs Syndrome, he was named Sister of a Downs.
Damn you for making me have to watch System of a Down music videos to make this.
On – Barbara Jordan’s Cloak – On
Texas Hold Him