When: Thursday, April 13th, 2017

Where: Foggy Bottom Metro, in Washington Circle

Vagina Hairs: Twater Boarding, Vaginal Countdown, Kooter Kunte, Mouthful of Clam, Red Vag of Courage, and Lickthyologist

Virgins: Yes, there were virgins on this trail.

Visitors: P sure there was one or two of those as well, just so at sea.

On After: Capitol City Brewing Company, Mackey’s, Recessions

What started as a celebration of the holder of all life quickly devolved into an evening of confusion and ultimate disappointment for all parties involved, an outcome reminiscent of this author’s first experience with parts of the female anatomy.

Trail started with a bang, in that Nobody Puts Gayby in a Corner banged his way headfirst into the sidewalk. Flashbacks to his first time with a lady part? Yes. Our Vagina Hairs took the pack round and round in so many circles that even this author got the point: circling the same place yields the best results! The pack continued through the thriving campus of The George Washington University, which caused Mambo#Hives to reminisce about her “glory days roaming around frat row.” Prostitute? Serial killer? The pack was unsure what Mambo’s actions were.

At beercheck, second time hasher Just Pauline confided in me her love of Hashers, citing how, “gross and raunchy” we are. Touched, I shared this feedback with Maybe It’s Gaybelline who exclaimed, “oh she should see under my pants!” Gaybelline, we want her to come back to the Hash, not get committed!

After a series of circles and blind turns, the evening had no circle. The early dismissal of the pack due to undesired company prompted this author to miss the names of both Virgins and Visitors (actually I was late(!) to trail), and the group found itself marching to a series of bars more confused than when they started. You know what they say folks, history is doomed to repeat itself.