EWH3 Hash Trash #1007: The Charming Old Bastards Trail May 11 Eisenhower Ave
 
When: May 11, 2017
Where: Eisenhower Ave Metro (Yellow Line)
Hares: Can’t find Pussy in a Haystack, CumDumpling, Generals Farm Animal, and Put It Out
Virgins: Maybe a guy named Just Peregrine?
Visitors: Nope… but I forget
On-After: San Antonio Bar & Grill
Everyday is Wednesday has the reputation of being a hash for sexy youngesters to hang out, run with other young attractive people, maybe buy them a drink at a bar filled with even more conventionally appealing, sexually adventurous Millennials. And that is true (tell your friends!), but we also have some olds! Don’t underestimate them: these handsome devils can drink you under the table and then crawl down there with you to show you a thing or two about a thing or two. And also Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack is here!
Trail was in the depths of Virginia and a little bit rainy – but that’s the only way Generals Farm Animal gets a lady wet anymore, so I’ll forgive them. Also, trail was a lot like old-people sex: short, unexciting, and if no ones dies it’s chalked up as a win.
Violations
  • CumDumpling‘s aging prostate betrayed him and he had to pee in front of the van at start. Good thing his dick fits inside his hand so he didn’t flash God and country. He said he was checking the radiator. I don’t think that’s the right kind fluid?
  • GeneralsFarmAnimal– asked the walkers if they wanted to do shiggy on trail. I guess in his senility he forgot that walkers barely  want to walk on trail. If he arranged a HoverAround trail it would have clenched 1007 as best theme of the year.
  • Cheech and Dong mentioned that the Montana rocky mountain oyster eating contest is all the game she gets. She should be flattered that men fry their testicles to get them in her mouth. (Want to learn more about Cheech and man oysters? Check out the trash for the 1005 trail. We all love a call back!)
  • Tuck Tuck Deuce, who didn’t meet the criteria to hare this trail because it was supposed to be charming old men, was commended for not missing a beat when faced with running through the culvert. He saw a light at the end of a tunnel and just went for it.
  • Speaking of tunnels and balls, Maybe It’s Gaybelline hiked his kilt up in the tunnel and showed everyone his. That’s a great way to get a UTI: by being around Gabyelline’s al fresco balls.
It was wet, and there weren’t any whippersnappers around to listen to stories about walking long distances so everyone went to a bar.
 on –  -on
Texas Hold Him