EWH3 #1010 Hodor Memorial Trail! – June 1st – Rhode Island Ave Metro – (Red Line)
When: June 1, 2017
Where: Rhode Island Ave Metro (Red Line)
Hares:  Maybe It’s Gaybelline, Sphincter Shy, Whoregon Trail, Chicks Ahoy, Tragic Carpet Ride, Bow Chick a Bow Wow, and Just Basement Liz
Virgins: Just Dave, Just Jim, Just Serg (I think. I can’t read my handwriting.)
Visitors: Fetch, Abandon Bitch, Lock Jaw, Pasta in my Pants
On-After: Driftwood Kitchen

 

Somebody once told me the world was going to roll me… Sorry, sorry. Reflex. Starting again. Ahem.

 

Somebody once told me that to hashers, any day can be Halloween. All you need is a little creativity, a little glitter, and a closet filled to the brim with costumes that you hope one day a relative isn’t going to have to unexpectedly clear out. There were so many great costumes at trail. It’s almost like hashers are all secret Renaissance Festival fetishists with a suitcase under their bed filled with leather corsets and questions for their grieving mother.

 

Violations
  • Tuck Tuck Deuce really got into the theme and came all dressed up, thought I wasn’t aware there were leprechauns in Game of Thrones.
  • Tragic Carpet Ride had so many options! He could have come as The Mountain! Or, more obviously as Hodor. But since we all remember when he flashed us at the 1000 trail a few weeks back, so it makes sense that he came as Little Finger.
    • Follow up violation. TCR only said “Hodor” all night long. It was the best conversation we have ever had.
  • Coliteral Damage came up and proudly exclaimed “Look at my scales!” Way to own your psoriasis.
  • Stain Gretzky ran past a loudly barking dog on trail and said “That dog is too chubby to be so aggressive.” I can’t believe she fat-shamed a dog. Not cool.
  • To celebrate arriving at End Circle, Maybe It’s Gaybelline pour his leftover flour all over his head. Maybe we should have renamed him to “Maybe It’s Head and Shoulders.” (At this point everyone did that fucking head joke. I knew it was going to happen, and I ain’t even mad. Worth it.)
After I made fun of everyone for what they were wearing like it was a junior high dance that no one asked me to, we had a very solemn occasion. A naming!
This evening we got to know Just Katie a little better. JK works at the zoo and spends most of her days jerking off pandas. Someone wondered how she learned how to do it, but like most of us, it was probably a bit of trial and error. She also shared a fun fact about pandas pooping glitter. No wonder pandas are going extinct. If someone jerked me off all day and fed me glitter, I’d die a happy man. She told us some great stories about sex and pooping in buses. I don’t think these were the same occasion, she just loves mass transit. But she kinda fixated us with the panda jerking stuff, so we named her Eats Bush and Leaves.

 

Afterwards we all went to Driftwood Kitchen to debate which of the dragons is sexier.
On – And all that glitters is gold – On
Texas Hold Him