EWH3 Hash Trash #1109: The WIE Committee Presents: The Welcum to Earth Trail!
When: Thursday, February 7, 2019
Where: Shaw / Howard Metro (Green / Yellow Line)
Hares: Atari 6900; Schrodinger’s Cock; The Cock Whisperer; Dude, That Guy; General Tso’s Dicken; Colliteral Damage
Virgins: None, ya filthy sluts
Visitor: A big ole sausage fest + a wayward Pudjam harriette:
- Whore With No Name, from Arkansas
- Born On Your Anus (B.O.Y. Anus), from Wichita Kansas
- Just Josh, from Fort Lauderdale
- Mighty Waters, from BAH3, but admittedly an edub virgin…. ok fine
On-After: Satellite Room (note to self, how am I just realizing now that as shitty as this trail was even the ON-AFTER was on theme… damn)
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the night’s festivities began with a moment of silence to honor two hashers we lost this week: Wreath Around most recently of Chicago, an institution in the DC hashing community for many years, and Ghetto Inferno of Lehigh Valley, a friend to many in DC. On-up to the big on-after in the sky, y’all.
(Btw, guys, holy fuck I did a thing in HTML to make this embedded GIF centered… GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY I learned something in college!)
Now onto the mothership. Violations:
- It’s two weeks since my last Scribe appearance, and here I am in circle again. I look around, here’s Blow Me Closer Tiny Dancer as GM again. I look to my left, here’s Poon-apple Juice as RA again. I look to my right, here’s Atari 6900 as the alpha hare on a shitty trail where everyone got lost again. So I have to ask myself… didn’t anybody tell you idiots Ground Hog Day was last week??
- You Can’t Handle The Poop was on trail getting everyone guessing distances like he was running a carnival booth trying to figure out how far away that elementary school was… he had to make sure it was at least 500 feet.
- Speaking of being problematic, thank god Maybe It’s Gaybelline got separated from us in Meridian Hill Park so we were only like third creepiest group there.
- Shout out to the pack for nearly picking up Noodles the Dog as trail treasure. He serves as a good reminder that the theme for WIE is Anything but Human. Rego today, ya animals!
- Poops, I Did It Again! And Sister Of A Downs were commended for nearly getting picked up as reverse trail treasure by a suspiciously curious and well-dressed older muggle during beer check.
- On the other hand, Mambo # Hives was overhead comparing trail to her last hookup: it wasn’t the best laid, but it got the job done.
- Speaking of sex, Schrodinger’s Cock tried real hard to get me to drink the rest of his beer at beer check so he could go “lay trail.” I was like, oh sweetie, if I wanted you to pawn your backwashed sloppy seconds off on me I’d just go looking for Poon-apple Juice. (Just kidding, I definitely drank that beer.)
And, boy oh boy the action doesn’t stop there – we had my first naming back as Scribe, and we sure had a good one! While #SquadHoles was busy burning down a Chick-fil-a in Miami, we were graced with the presence of our very own real-life Florida Man.
On – it was a good night to see Uranus – on,