EWH3 Hash Trash #1122: The Deathly Birthday Polka Dot Trail
When: Thursday, April 18, 2019
Where: Foggy Bottom Metro (Blue / Orange / Silver Line)
Hares: Deathly Swallows, Fist Pump, Colliteral Damage, Head Injury, Cheech & Dong, General Tso’s Dicken, and You Sucked My Battledick
Virgins: Just Marissa
Visitor: none!
On-After: Recessions, you know why
Violations
- Firstly, a commendation to our Brew Crew, Throbbin Hood and Cum Peg Me, for recruiting underage Mormon missionaries to the hash before trail even got started by wearing nice little polka dot dresses and showing off their foggy bottoms in the middle of a college campus.
- Shot check hares You Sucked My Battledick and General Tso’s Dicken celebrated their trail marriage with the breaking of a glass…bottle of Evan Williams. Battledick rushed off to the liquor store nearby and saved the day before the runners came. I sure wish that *my* significant other knew he should go to the liquor store before I come!
- Birthday bitch Deathly Swallows and fellow hare Colliteral Damage were clocked in their delightful polka dot aprons. You know what they say, dots in the front, slots in the back. That definitely made my dough rise.
- I think the hares got a little confused and thought that this trail was actually the Boozy Horror Brunch Trail we had back in October… we got lost in the dark, there was broken glass everywhere, and we encountered a playground with no kids on it… just Sphincter Shy, shirtless.
- Tuck Tuck Deuce was overheard complaining about trail, per usual, presumably because someone other than him was getting attention for getting older.
- SchroCo wanted people to closely observe his infectious looking spread of chest polka dots – watch out unless you want to catch the pox! The anti-vaxxers might be concerned, but frankly, I’d be lucky if measles was the worst thing I caught from fucking him.
No naming, just a very happy birthday to Deathly Swallows!
On – Naturdays are the new Everyday – on,
Stain Gretzky