When: Thursday, April 25, 2019

Where:  Pentagon City Metro (Yellow / Blue Line)

Hares:  #SquadHoles, #SquadHoles’ hover board, Poon-apple Juice, L’Chymen, and Heaven’s Gape

Virgins:  none

Visitor:  The other DADS, who doesn’t know what PUDJAM is

On-After:  Freddie’s Beach Bar Bob and Edith’s Diner

Y’all, it was #SquadHoles’ first alpha hare, yay!  And for a trail that put us underground on the nicest Thursday of the year so far, involved repeatedly running into traffic and an elevator dance sausage party gang bang, and revealed a concerning number of hashers who don’t know which three colors are on a stoplight, it was … yeah it was still shitty.

Also, we need to talk about that freaking train DP while I was trying to do my set in circle.  I’m loud, but not that loud.  Rude.  Anyway, moving on.

Violations

  • Our walker’s hare L’Chymen walked into a revolving glass door on trail.  She may have dyed her hair red, but this Harriette is still a blonde at heart.
  • Princess Jizzmine decided that road signs are the new LinkedIn and picked out her next career move: 3 men in a truck for $80 an hour.  Sold!
  • Uno, Dos, Tres LIFTOFF! was caught bragging about her GS-14 status.  It’s not so much the money we’re concerned about, but the fact that her longest relationship to date has been with Uncle Sam.
  • #SquadHoles announced via SnapChat (aka his preferred medium for documenting crimes) this week that he is cancelling his adult summer camp due to lack of alcohol permit, a norovirus outbreak, Brexit, and the release of the Mueller Report.  He’s been so busy telling everyone how “lit” it was going to be he didn’t realize he had been organizing West Virginia’s very own Fyre Festival.  Documentary out on Netflix this fall!

And a big SHAME bell for me for flubbing my period sex joke about the tunnels of love trail being laid with red and sticky marks.  I’m literally named after a menstrual blood stain.  Anyway, we still threw down some towels and made a mess of that karaoke.

On – I petted so many dogs last night – on,

Stain Train