When: Thursday, July 18, 2019
Where: Waterfront Metro (Green Line)
Hares: You Can’t Handle the Poop, Roll Over, Bitch!, Kunta Kunte, NSA (but N[A]SA for today), Vladmir Fruitin, Uno, Dos, Tres, Liftoff!, and Quantum Whizics
“Virgins”: Just Eric, Just Gautham, and Just Geoff
Actual Virgin: Just Bodhi
Visitor: not a single alien sighting on trail
- It is universally known that Quantum Whizics has the smallest bladder known to mankind. And yet somehow, NSA was the one who wore a space diaper on trail.
- Cum Dumpling was almost commended for conscientiously reusing water just like you would on the space station. Unfortunately, he was using the water from the can bins to wash his armpits and returning it straight to the bin for others’ consumption.
- Just Bodhi found himself desperate to wash the taste of the Perrier that Just Jessie gave him out of his mouth. Unfortunately, his preferred flavor palate was located up Tragic Carpet Ride’s kilt.
- All three of our human virgins were violated for lying about their virginity. Just cause Just Geoff’s mom used to drive me to high school doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on him in circle.
- A shoutout to Metrorail Mary for fending off a harasser and taking a police escort to trail
- And finally, a violation to Roll Over, Bitch! for complaining to the rest of the hares and the pack that his trail was excellently planned, beyond reproach, and perfectly laid. To which I say, sir, I know your significant other, and you ain’t had a perfect lay in years.
After Pinnochi-Schro was done snorting beer out of his nose, we had a very solemn occasion… A NAMING!!!!
Just Ben is a former rocket surgeon now working in space policy for the White House. Twaterboarding made him cum not too long ago, but they originally met in church 11 years ago. Just Ben has an incredible talent for building rockets that are “too good” and rates his blow jobs on a scale from F to A++. Just Ben also has an eidetic memory for every dump he’s ever taken, as well as a running mental tally of the total value of all the plumbing damage his epic shits have caused. His tastiest puke was caused by memories of 2 Girls, 1 Cup and an aggressive Honey Grahams breakfast. But despite his adventures with double sided dildos and the Festivus Pole, we just couldn’t let that poop stuff slide. Suggestions included The Poon Landing and Beam Me Up Potty, but after so many visits from a tortured plumber, Just Ben shall henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing be known as Close Encounters of the Turd Kind.
On – JFC searching “space poop” on GIPHY in public was a mistake – on,