EWH3 Hash Trash #1185: Seltzers and Shandies (Virtual Trail)

When: Thursday, June 11th, 2020
Where: Wherever you happen to be
Hares: You!

I’m here to clear up some confusion..
Shanty
/ˈSHan(t)ē/
noun
A song sung by pirates in rhythm with their work

Shandy
/ˈSHandē/
noun

1. Beer mixed with lemonade or some other sweet carbonated beverage.

2. A word that should be said when something cool happens or as an expression of excitement. (Ex: “That trail was shandy, bro!”)

3. Shower handjob

Danielle gave Fred a shandy after getting back from the beach, and made everyone mad they went over the ten minute shower limit.

4. A sexual act in which one person uses fecal matter as lubricant for giving a handjob.

You know what.. I think we’ve gone far enough down this rabbit hole.

Violations:

Much like the confusion above, there were some twins on trail causing others to double-take.

We had Headshart and Schrodinger’s Cock in a battle of the tartan.

Ready Player None and Kooter Kunte‘s seltzer, who both went prehistoric on this bitch.

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind and Ernest Hemingway duking it out to be the angstiest drunk on the boat.

Despite these battles royales, some people still managed to call individual attention to themselves:

Like Headshart who was seven cans deep and not even close – TRULY difficult to satisfy.

Skooter Kunte who posted seven pictures in the Google album, rounding up from the usual 6.9.

and everyone who brought beer to a seltzer show. Remember, if you can’t stick it in Seltzer, you can stick it in Cider!

With that, we all went back to sipping our White Claws in shame.