When: Thursday, July 23rd, 2020

Where: Foggy Bottom (Blue/Orange/Silver Line)

Hares: They Blow Up So Fast & Tacos On A Bridge

Virgins: Just Joe, Just Nicko

Visitors: One Trick Dick from Upstate New York

On-After: None, because COVID

SPORTS! IT’S WHAT WE WATCH TO FEEL MANLY! AAAAAGGH! Except all sports are canceled, so we have to pretend to be in the competitive spirit. But still, SPORTS!

Lonely Island "We Like Sports" - Album on Imgur
GO LOCAL REGIONAL SPORTSBALL TEAM!

You would think a group of r*nners would have their shit together when they go for a run, but nope. We still did stupid shit on trail.

9021Ho was violated because he fucked up crushing his beer can. I know you suck at sports, but if you try out for musical theater, don’t try Stomp.

Just Caroline was commended for staying on theme. She was seen before trail playing with her balls.

Just Nicko was violated for getting wet on trail without anyone else. The amount of time he stayed dry was shorter than Mouthful of Clam’s shorts! Not to be outdone by dogs, Little Spermaid was overheard saying “ooo, can I pet your weiner?”

Mouthful of Clam was flashing his tits to everyone on trail. Hey come on, this is the BALLS trail, stay on theme and whip them out for the cars!

Meanwhile, Kooter Kunte had her ball in a sack. Of all the balls to pop out on trail, I’m surprised it was hers. Quid Pro Blow tried to throw beer foam on Kooter’s balls and tried to defend himself by arguing that he was just moisturizing them.

Is Asking a Girl if She Likes Big Balls The Worst Pick Up Line of All Time?  | Two Buttons Deep
Kooter DEFINITELY had the biggest balls on trail

Just Kirsten was violated for some bullshit involving fireflies. You’re only an attention whore if you’re getting PAID to for it, now you’re just being an attention slut.

Sir Lancelittle was showing off his new mask that has a straw hole, and he had the audacity to say out loud that every human is a straw if you suck hard enough. On a related note, my ex-girlfriend’s hash name is Vacuum.

Just Cerulean was violated for having rocks in her backpack. She tried to playfully defend this quirky situation by arguing that rocks are useful for defending herself against children…

Nervous Laughter* What the Fuck? - Album on Imgur
Just Cerulean, do we need to call the police?

GROUP VIOLATIONS:

  • Everyone who didn’t bring a vessel despite the email and chalk talk.
  • The six of you FRBs who cheated on the fishhook
  • The five of you r*nners that RAN ON A GREEN LIGHT and almost got run over

ON-I was on academic team in high school, does that count as a sport?-ON

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind