When: Thursday, August 13th, 2020
Where: Capitol South (Blue/Orange/Silver Line) or Ballpark/Navy Yard (Green Line)
Hares: 21 Gum Salute & Poon-Apple Juice
On-After: None, because COVID
We came expecting a bikini bash. Instead, we got a sausagefest. The ratio of this crowd was more lopsided than my dick after cranking out 5 wanks per day in quarantine to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition! Wait, I’m not talking the current COVID quarantine, I’m talking about when I was a kid, I had to get quarantined a lot for being so sick all the time. Well, at least, my school principle said my chronic masturbation was a sickness, and I guess it was more of a “out-of-school suspension” than a “quarantine.”
ANYWAY… that being said, sausage is delicious and we need to normalize mens’ bodies. Tonight we had LOTS of men strutting their stuff! That’s right, we had more moose knuckle than the entirely of Canada! We saw some wiggly hips and helicopter dicks!
At for the rest of trail, there was stupid shit, as usual…
- The GPS Award for the FRB who solves a check and doesnt tell anyone goes to… Roll Over Bitch! Extra violation because it was a bikini check!
- The 21 Gum Salute award for the hasher who runs into traffic and very nearly dies goes to… Roll Over Bitch! I guess we’ll have to rename you Ran Over Bitch!
Scribe gasped himself out of his own mask.
The Hares were violated for laying trail over cobblestones that were almost as loose as the Hares themselves!
Quid Pro Blow was seen squeezing out his mask multiple times on trail. I guess that’s something he has in common with Ben Shapiro, he thinks it’s supposed to be dry!
Speaking of things on your face, Tony Panda put his mask on upside down and someone said it looked like a butt. I think it looks like something that SHOULD be soaking wet. #WetAssPussy!
Kooter Kunte was violated for insisting there be a bikini check on walkers trail and then solving it herself instead of letting someone show their tits. That’s selfish! Cummendation for Poon-apple Juice for drawing a bikini check on walkers
GROUP VIOLATION: we were approached by some ex-hashers asking if we were hashing. It was pretty fuckin obvious thanks to Mouthful of Clam’s mankini that we aren’t just normal raceist club.
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind